Friday, March 30, 2007

Dear DC Comics Future...

The Beta-Maxx reference is just too precious.

Like Kamandi, you're not looking too bright anymore, huh?

Taken from DC Comics Presents #64 (1983) by Mark Evanier, Alek Saviuk & Frank McLaughlin

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Reason Number Five To Love The Smartest Man In The World

I hate revisionist history.

Always have. Always will.

That said, I always found it odd that I tried to be OK with the induction of Amazing Man into the pages of All-Star Squadron.

I mean, I appreciated the thought and all but his inclusion was the thing that taught me the meaning of "best intentions."

I always thought I'd been better served if I had been presented with a history where no Black man or woman could have joined a pre-civil rights movement Justice Society. It simply would have been the truth. It was an ugly truth, one that I would definitely have learned from.

I have no idea if Amazing Man's being the first Black person to serve in All-Star Squadron is still considered canon, especially after Infinite Crisis. I would honestly say that I'm much more comfortable with Jakeem Thunder and Mr. Terrific's being the first Black men to serve alongside Wildcat, Jay Garrick, Green Lantern and Hawkman.

Having Amazing Man in canon just seems to dimish these two characters' achievements, in some way.

Monday, March 26, 2007

Read Good Comics: Empowered

I got the opportunity to review Adam Warren's graphic novel, Empowered for "Rack Raids," the best l'il comics review site in the world.

I know Empowered isn't DC but... hey, good comics is good comics.

Be here later on this week for Reason Five of "Reasons To Love The Third Smartest Man In The DC Universe" and a new feature, "Great Missed Opportunities."

Friday, March 23, 2007

Reason Number Four To Love The Smartest Man In The World

Remember a few years ago when Marvel was trying to find a Black Captain America.

*shudder*

The fan response seemed so overwhelmingly negative that at one point I just wanted to leave Marvel Comics alone for a good long while.

I believe Marvel started it all with the best of intentions but unfortunately, let the fans make the ultimate decision for them, leading "Truth" to become a nearly forgettable footnote in the vast history of Captain America.

Then, two great things happened at DC.

DC put Mr. Terrific in charge of comics' most powerful superteam...

...like Marvel's Captain America.

Then, last year, he became a key player in one of comics' leading espionage organizations...

...like Marvel's Captain America.

And, no one blinked.

Why? Admittedly, Holt's predecessor, Terry Sloane was no where near Cap's league but Holt...

Holt's character arc has been well-handled. Without fanfare, without proclamation and probably subconsciously, he's become better than those who came before him.

Holt's writers put the character first, letting his actions explain his natural evolution.

For lack of a better comparison, if you want a Captain America comic, pretty much all one would have to do is pick up a DC Comic.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Reason Number Three To Love The Smartest Man In The World


I mean, really. What's not to love about Mr. Terrific? He was unanimously elected Chairman of The JSA by men who, at one point, could never have allowed for his membership. Times have changed and in any era this man would be phenomenal. He walks daily through doors once closed to him. He represents what I think is right with the DC Universe. It is a universe where men who can move mountains display common sense.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Sanders Runs Mouth, Millions Flee In Terror

The other day I did an interview with Politico.com about Captain America. Of course, I was able to turn it into a conversation about Uncle Sam & The Freedom Fighters.

Just for the record, the final quote and the observation about Mr. Terrific....?

Mine.

Ehnn.... what can ya do?

Friday, March 16, 2007

"Seven Hells!" New Earth Theatre Featuring Cheshire



Maury: We're back! I'd like for you to meet "Cheshire." Cheshire...

Cheshire (Jumping out of her chair) : Bring his ass out! Bring his ass out, Maury!

Maury: Cheshire... sit down... Cheshire claims that this man... (Audience starts booing.)

(Arsenal appears on screen, shaking his head, mouthing, "No! No!," over and over again.)

Maury: Roy, is the father of her beautiful daughter, Lian.

(Lian appears on screen, audience, "Awwwws.")

Maury: Cheshire, why is Roy claiming not to be the father of your child?

Cheshire: 'Cause he a l'il bitch, is why!

(Audience hoots and hollers)

Cheshire: Maury, look at her! Look at her! She look just like his broke ass!

Maury: Well, let's bring his "broke ass" out. Roy?

(Roy walks out to a chorus of boos and downturned thumbs)

Roy (in the Arsenal costume, middle fingers held high) : Oh, HELL NO! What's up, Maury. That bitch just wants me for my money!

(Cheshire runs at Roy, security tackles her.)

Cheshire: Trash, you ain't got no money! Your "daddy," Ollie* is the one with the money! If money was the case, I should have given this (slaps her bottom) to his goofy ass! Besides, I heard he likes to dip his plum sauce in the pho, anyway!

(Audience goes ape-shit)

(*Roy is the ward of Oliver Queen, The Green Arrow, who has two bi-racial children of, guess what... Asian descent.)

Maury: Roy, what leads you to believe that you aren't this child's father.

Roy (Pointing an arrow towards the screen) : Look at her, Maury! She don't look nothing like me! I got "good" red hair all over my body, she don't. I got some Indian blood in me, too. This child got Chinese eyes, I don't.

Cheshire (hissing) : I'm Vietnamese, asshole. Besides, what I want with a heroin addict?

(Audience gasps)

Roy (sneering) : Did she tell you that she used to be a prostitute? Anybody could be that baby's daddy.

Cheshire (sneering) : I was a slave, asshole! A SLAVE!!!!

Roy: Biiiiiiig difference. I just "hit & quit" like everybody else, Maury!

Maury: Well, let's find out for sure! Here are the DNA results... Maury (putting on reading glasses) : Roy... in the case of Lian....

Maury: YOU ARE THE FATHER!

Roy: Oh, Hell NAW! (Runs backstage to where Donna Troy is waiting.)

Cheshire (waving the results) : SEE?!? TOLD YOU! TOLD YOU! Yeah, bitch! I'ma get me some child support! I'ma start treating your ass like a terrorist nation!

Elsewhere in the world...

Killer Moth: Hey, Catman! Get your fat ass in here! You've gotta see this wild sh*t!

Catman: Coming! (walks into the room carrying a bag of Cheetos) What'd I miss?

Killer Moth: You'd know if you'd waddled your fat ass in here sooner. God! Look at you. You're pathethic! You've totally let yourself go. Geez, what woman'd want you?

(Catman winks)

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Back Next Week...

In the meantime... please enjoy this encore of Plastic Man's ass.