Tuesday, May 31, 2005
BWAAAAHAHAHA!!!!
This picture just makes me laugh on SO many levels. Adam Strange? You didn't go and lose track of your planet, AGAIN, this week, didja?!? Adam Strange. Poor man's Flash Gordon, Canadian and all-around dumbass.
Wanna See A Grown Man Swoon?
See the woman holding Lynda Carter? That would be Jeannie Epper, Lynda Carter's stuntwoman from the Wonder Woman television series. If Wonder Woman needed to jump from a window, she was the one who did it. Horeseback riding: Jeannie Epper. You name it she did it, further adding to my enjoyment of this wildly watchable series.
So, why would I swoon? She was in Washington, DC, promoting a documentary on Hollywood stuntwomen, Double Dare. Well, she stopped in my store on Saturday, looking for, you guessed it: Wonder Woman comics.
She was just as nice as can be and one of the sweetest people I've ever met and best of all, in the middle of working, made me feel like a kid all over again..
So, why would I swoon? She was in Washington, DC, promoting a documentary on Hollywood stuntwomen, Double Dare. Well, she stopped in my store on Saturday, looking for, you guessed it: Wonder Woman comics.
She was just as nice as can be and one of the sweetest people I've ever met and best of all, in the middle of working, made me feel like a kid all over again..
Monday, May 30, 2005
Wanted: The Martian Manhunter!
What do Superman, Batman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, The Flash, Green Lantern, The Atom, Hawkman, Black Canary, Enemy Ace, Sgt. Rock, The Doom Patrol and even The Blackhawks have that The Martian Manhunter DOESN'T.
A DC Archive edition.
I think this is just wrong. One of the original, founding members of The Justice League of America is THE most under-represented of DC's hero set and I believe an Archive Edition will help fix this.
As much as I'd love to think of myself as a DC Comics "expert" it dawned on me today that my experience with this great character BEGINS with The Justice League's worst team. The 80's incarnation of Vibe, Vixen, Steel, Gypsy, Elongated Man, Zatanna and Aquaman. No one should have to learn about The Manhunter from that crap.
On any given day, we can walk into a comic book store and pick up an Archive Edition of The frickin' Seven Soldiers Of Victory, for God's sake! Yet, we can't learn as to WHY we should even give a damn about one of comics' most interesting and enduring characters. WHY is he the rock that holds The League together? WHAT led him to be this rock? WHEN did this happen? WHO wants to know?
That's where YOU come in.
WE want to know. Let DC Comics know that we want to know. Comics, curiousity and the character we all know as The Martian Manhunter will all be the better for it.
A DC Archive edition.
I think this is just wrong. One of the original, founding members of The Justice League of America is THE most under-represented of DC's hero set and I believe an Archive Edition will help fix this.
As much as I'd love to think of myself as a DC Comics "expert" it dawned on me today that my experience with this great character BEGINS with The Justice League's worst team. The 80's incarnation of Vibe, Vixen, Steel, Gypsy, Elongated Man, Zatanna and Aquaman. No one should have to learn about The Manhunter from that crap.
On any given day, we can walk into a comic book store and pick up an Archive Edition of The frickin' Seven Soldiers Of Victory, for God's sake! Yet, we can't learn as to WHY we should even give a damn about one of comics' most interesting and enduring characters. WHY is he the rock that holds The League together? WHAT led him to be this rock? WHEN did this happen? WHO wants to know?
That's where YOU come in.
WE want to know. Let DC Comics know that we want to know. Comics, curiousity and the character we all know as The Martian Manhunter will all be the better for it.
Hmmm...
Last week, over at "The Absorbascon," Scip asked why was Wonder Woman, a person with diplomatic immunity, being led away in handcuffs on the cover of Wonder Woman #220?
After reading last week Adventures Of Superman #640 and Wizard #165, I believe we have an answer...
Quoting Adventures of Superman writer, Greg Rucka in his Wizard #165 interview...
"...Clark's guilt over what (Diana) does for him will tear him apart."
What could a diplomat do that would be SO bad that they would AUTOMATICALLY have to go to jail?
It seems to me, you'd have to do something really bad, something like....
Hmmm...
Killing a certain FORMER CHILDHOOD FRIEND who also happens to have been A FORMER PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.
THAT could get ANYONE some jail time.
After reading last week Adventures Of Superman #640 and Wizard #165, I believe we have an answer...
Quoting Adventures of Superman writer, Greg Rucka in his Wizard #165 interview...
"...Clark's guilt over what (Diana) does for him will tear him apart."
What could a diplomat do that would be SO bad that they would AUTOMATICALLY have to go to jail?
It seems to me, you'd have to do something really bad, something like....
Hmmm...
Killing a certain FORMER CHILDHOOD FRIEND who also happens to have been A FORMER PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.
THAT could get ANYONE some jail time.
Updated: Thor's Comic Column Is A Go!
Wrote a new review for Thor's Comic Column and just as a tease, here's the first paragraph...
Who doesn’t love a good fight? The sound sections of bones makes while crashing down upon another’s triggers something within us. Something we may not fully understand but something we have come to accept as a part of us. I suspect that’s why we’ve come to love The Batman Family of characters. They’re a family of fighters. Batman, not only is he The World’s Greatest Detective but when he fights the effect is like witnessing a shotgun blast go off in a room. Nightwing, has become a finely honed sword forged by the hands of a true master. Next, there’s Cassandra Cain, Batgirl. Raised as a child by Batman’s former instructor, Cain, she was never thought to read or write, she was taught to kill in the most efficient of styles, reading the language of the body. She was raised to see all of humanity as a series of soft targets and blind spots. Now, she fights for something better, her own humanity. It’s all put to the test as she stares down death, taking on, arguably, The DC Universe’s King Of Fighters, Deathstroke and his daughter, the twisted Ravager. Who will win? Find out in Batgirl #64, on sale now.
Want more? You've gotta click on the "Thor's Comic Column" link to get the rest.
"Seven Hells!" will be back in full swing later on today.
Again, thanks for reading.
Who doesn’t love a good fight? The sound sections of bones makes while crashing down upon another’s triggers something within us. Something we may not fully understand but something we have come to accept as a part of us. I suspect that’s why we’ve come to love The Batman Family of characters. They’re a family of fighters. Batman, not only is he The World’s Greatest Detective but when he fights the effect is like witnessing a shotgun blast go off in a room. Nightwing, has become a finely honed sword forged by the hands of a true master. Next, there’s Cassandra Cain, Batgirl. Raised as a child by Batman’s former instructor, Cain, she was never thought to read or write, she was taught to kill in the most efficient of styles, reading the language of the body. She was raised to see all of humanity as a series of soft targets and blind spots. Now, she fights for something better, her own humanity. It’s all put to the test as she stares down death, taking on, arguably, The DC Universe’s King Of Fighters, Deathstroke and his daughter, the twisted Ravager. Who will win? Find out in Batgirl #64, on sale now.
Want more? You've gotta click on the "Thor's Comic Column" link to get the rest.
"Seven Hells!" will be back in full swing later on today.
Again, thanks for reading.
Friday, May 27, 2005
Rannian "Intelligence" Report 5-28-05
According to published reports from Rannian sympathizer, Dial "B" For Blog, Rann is apparently building some sort of "superweapon" in an effort to fell our beloved Thanagar. Thanagarian Intelligence reports this as nonsense, unless on Rann drinking large amounts of Mountain Dew while re-winding that "lesbian" kissing scene from "Cruel Intentions" over and over again and kissing the back of your hand has something to do with building a "superweapon."
I believe we will be O.K.
"SEVEN HELLS!"
For Thanagar!
I believe we will be O.K.
"SEVEN HELLS!"
For Thanagar!
Thursday, May 26, 2005
Random Thought #2
After seeing what it does to frat guys, I'm even MORE convinced that Oasis' "Champagne Supernova" is the frat boy version of Prince's "Purple Rain."
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
Thanagar Declares...WAR!
I've been VERY quiet in my support of Thanagar in the escalating THANAGAR/Rann War but that changes...
NOW!
"Seven Hells!" wholeheartedly lends its' mace, its' sword and shield to the following Pro-Thanagar blogs ...
The Absorbascon, The Great Curve, The Comic Treadmill, Near Mint Heroes, Cognitive Dissonance, Blog THIS, Pal!, Gutterninja, Trusty Sidekicks, Dave's Longbox, The "brilliant" half of Repent Sinners!, Return to Comics, and Polite Dissent.
All others will not want "Seven Hells!" shouted their way.
(BTW, on my end, this is all intended in good clean fun. Let's keep it that. )
For Thanagar!
NOW!
"Seven Hells!" wholeheartedly lends its' mace, its' sword and shield to the following Pro-Thanagar blogs ...
The Absorbascon, The Great Curve, The Comic Treadmill, Near Mint Heroes, Cognitive Dissonance, Blog THIS, Pal!, Gutterninja, Trusty Sidekicks, Dave's Longbox, The "brilliant" half of Repent Sinners!, Return to Comics, and Polite Dissent.
All others will not want "Seven Hells!" shouted their way.
(BTW, on my end, this is all intended in good clean fun. Let's keep it that. )
For Thanagar!
TOOT!
I wasn't going to "toot" my own horn but The Washington Post listed the comics shop I run, Beyond Comics 2, in their Sunday Source section. The Sunday Source is The Post's Sunday feature pointing people towards "hip and cool" things to do and see in The DC Area. You have no idea how happy this makes me. It's been a tough year for me and this is one little victory I'll hold dear. It let's me know that I'm doing SOMETHING right. I don't know what it is but... (shrugs and smiles)
My great staff and my customers make Beyond Comics 2 what it is..."Hip AND Cool," and that makes me proud.
A comics shop that's "cool and hip?" Well, if SOMEONE has to shoulder the burden, why not us?
TOOT! TOOT!
My great staff and my customers make Beyond Comics 2 what it is..."Hip AND Cool," and that makes me proud.
A comics shop that's "cool and hip?" Well, if SOMEONE has to shoulder the burden, why not us?
TOOT! TOOT!
Number Seven Of The Seven Deadly Signs Of Villainy!
Sinestro! Despero! Eclipso! Amazo! Black Adam!
Umm, Black Adam-O. (Lot of O's in villainy.)
What one dominating physical trait do these villains most foul have in common?
POINTED EARS!
Yes, POINTED EARS are the seventh and last of The Seven Deadly Signs Of Villainy!
Three of the five villains I mentioned are aliens from outer space. They're supposed to look that way so that look..well, alien, thus evil. Eclipso is supposed to be the darkness in men's soul. He owns that POINTED EARS sh*t!
Now, as if Black Adam putting "Black" in his name wasn't EVIL enough for him. I mean, he's practically begging some dumbass to call him a name just so he can kick his ass but good!
No, Black Adam rocks POINTED EARS of his own free will! He CHOOSES to look like he'll stab your babies with his ears!
There's a beauty in that ugliness...
and that concludes the Seven Deadly Signs Of Villainy! I'm sure you all can think of more and you know what...I encourage you to. I know I left many out so feel free to post the ones you think I missed.
'Til then...
"SEVEN HELLS!"
Umm, Black Adam-O. (Lot of O's in villainy.)
What one dominating physical trait do these villains most foul have in common?
POINTED EARS!
Yes, POINTED EARS are the seventh and last of The Seven Deadly Signs Of Villainy!
Three of the five villains I mentioned are aliens from outer space. They're supposed to look that way so that look..well, alien, thus evil. Eclipso is supposed to be the darkness in men's soul. He owns that POINTED EARS sh*t!
Now, as if Black Adam putting "Black" in his name wasn't EVIL enough for him. I mean, he's practically begging some dumbass to call him a name just so he can kick his ass but good!
No, Black Adam rocks POINTED EARS of his own free will! He CHOOSES to look like he'll stab your babies with his ears!
There's a beauty in that ugliness...
and that concludes the Seven Deadly Signs Of Villainy! I'm sure you all can think of more and you know what...I encourage you to. I know I left many out so feel free to post the ones you think I missed.
'Til then...
"SEVEN HELLS!"
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
Number Six Of The Seven Deadly Signs Of Villainy!
Oh, snap! It's The Penguin...AGAIN! ...and STILL rockin' a monocle! How could he possible be more evil? He's topped off his evil ensemble with Number Six Of The Seven Deadlies...
THE CIGARETTE HOLDER!
A MONOCLE and a CIGARETTE HOLDER?
He's like this beautiful perfect storm of EVIL!
He wants to watch your ass get cancer from his second-hand smoke.
WAH! WAH! WAH!
PUNK-ASS.
THE CIGARETTE HOLDER!
A MONOCLE and a CIGARETTE HOLDER?
He's like this beautiful perfect storm of EVIL!
He wants to watch your ass get cancer from his second-hand smoke.
WAH! WAH! WAH!
PUNK-ASS.
Monday, May 23, 2005
Geoff Johns
According to Newsarama, Geoff Johns is leaving The Flash with issue 225. This kinda saddens me. The Flash was the book where I "discovered" him. Not only can the man can write a hell of a comic but in my random interactions with him, he came across as one hell of a nice guy.
I guess it was four years ago, I posted on The DC Comics Message Boards a message complimenting him on uses of characters of color. We forget that this is the man who installed a Black hero, Mr. Terrific, as chairman of DC Comics' greatest super-team, The JSA. Not because of any racial quota but because he was, simply, the best man for the job. He also, in the pages of The Flash, brought Cyborg back to prominence, eventually making him leader of The Teen Titans.
Among other things, he re-added The Black Panther and The Falcon to The Avengers roster during his run on the title, re-imagined DC's first superhero, The Crimson Avenger as a Black Woman and even introduced a Latino cop into The Flash mythos and the best thing about it?
These things just happened. With NO huge sermons on diversity. He, simply, did it while helping to reshape The DCU into the wonderful universe it is today.
Oh, and that post? He replied to it within five minutes of my posting and just nice as can be. A class act. I wish him nothing but good fortune in all future endeavors.
I guess it was four years ago, I posted on The DC Comics Message Boards a message complimenting him on uses of characters of color. We forget that this is the man who installed a Black hero, Mr. Terrific, as chairman of DC Comics' greatest super-team, The JSA. Not because of any racial quota but because he was, simply, the best man for the job. He also, in the pages of The Flash, brought Cyborg back to prominence, eventually making him leader of The Teen Titans.
Among other things, he re-added The Black Panther and The Falcon to The Avengers roster during his run on the title, re-imagined DC's first superhero, The Crimson Avenger as a Black Woman and even introduced a Latino cop into The Flash mythos and the best thing about it?
These things just happened. With NO huge sermons on diversity. He, simply, did it while helping to reshape The DCU into the wonderful universe it is today.
Oh, and that post? He replied to it within five minutes of my posting and just nice as can be. A class act. I wish him nothing but good fortune in all future endeavors.
Number Five Of The Seven Deadly Signs Of Villainy!
Harvey Dent used to be quite the chick magnet. Formerly, a successful district attorney, Dent had his pick of Gotham's fine feminine spoils but that all changed with one vile of acid to the face. You KNOW what had to happen next...
His ass got EVIL!!!
Trust me, lack of sex makes a man mean but apparently, having FACIAL SCARS makes a man EVIL!
In The DC Universe, FACIAL SCARS make you evil, in The Marvel Universe, they make you an "anti-hero." ("cough" Cable. "cough")
Without all that fine bottom to keep him occupied, Harvey Dent turned to evil and became Two-Face. Two-Face was last seen kidnapping a LESBIAN POLICE OFFICER in a sad attempt to get some butt.
Pitiful!
Needless, to say it turned out nothing like "Chasing Amy."
Two-Face equals...
(sigh)
DUMB-ASS.
His ass got EVIL!!!
Trust me, lack of sex makes a man mean but apparently, having FACIAL SCARS makes a man EVIL!
In The DC Universe, FACIAL SCARS make you evil, in The Marvel Universe, they make you an "anti-hero." ("cough" Cable. "cough")
Without all that fine bottom to keep him occupied, Harvey Dent turned to evil and became Two-Face. Two-Face was last seen kidnapping a LESBIAN POLICE OFFICER in a sad attempt to get some butt.
Pitiful!
Needless, to say it turned out nothing like "Chasing Amy."
Two-Face equals...
(sigh)
DUMB-ASS.
Saturday, May 21, 2005
Bondage Is Like Reindeer Games On Paradise Island.
Ah, the proud tradition of bondage has returned to the pages of Wonder Woman! Bondage and Wonder Woman are as synonymous as Black men and a love of round booties.
Speaking of booty, cover artist J.G. Jones paints a nice one, doesn't he? By the time this cover sees publication, I'm sure it'll be altered to show less of it.
DC, prove me wrong.
Speaking of booty, cover artist J.G. Jones paints a nice one, doesn't he? By the time this cover sees publication, I'm sure it'll be altered to show less of it.
DC, prove me wrong.
I Guess This Is A Backhanded "Thank You" To Mr. Lucas
I have a confession to make. One that could rock the very foundations of comicdom.
I, a comic book shop manager, don't really care much about Star Wars.
I said it and I'm not backing down from it. I'll fight you if I have to! I just never "got" what the big deal was. If I wanted space opera, I could read Adam Strange and I didn't. Where is it written that comic book fans are automatically Star Wars fans. Why do Star Wars fans act like I probed their ferret with a Q-Tip when I answer them, "...and no, I'm probably not going to see it."
My mother, God bless her soul, took me to see the first three and when "Star Wars:The Phantom Menace" was set for release, she asked, "Aren't you excited?" I hated to do it but I told her, She then said, "But-but I took you to see all three movies!" My reply, "I know, but what kid's going to turn down a day at the movies with his mother."
Now I'm not going to start "soapboxing" about why I don't particularly care for "Wars" but I'd just like to say to its' fans "to each his own." You've got your nostalgia, I've got mine. Mine is more of time spent with my mother, nothing more. I can't recreate the time but I guess I should be thankful to have had it.
I, a comic book shop manager, don't really care much about Star Wars.
I said it and I'm not backing down from it. I'll fight you if I have to! I just never "got" what the big deal was. If I wanted space opera, I could read Adam Strange and I didn't. Where is it written that comic book fans are automatically Star Wars fans. Why do Star Wars fans act like I probed their ferret with a Q-Tip when I answer them, "...and no, I'm probably not going to see it."
My mother, God bless her soul, took me to see the first three and when "Star Wars:The Phantom Menace" was set for release, she asked, "Aren't you excited?" I hated to do it but I told her, She then said, "But-but I took you to see all three movies!" My reply, "I know, but what kid's going to turn down a day at the movies with his mother."
Now I'm not going to start "soapboxing" about why I don't particularly care for "Wars" but I'd just like to say to its' fans "to each his own." You've got your nostalgia, I've got mine. Mine is more of time spent with my mother, nothing more. I can't recreate the time but I guess I should be thankful to have had it.
Friday, May 20, 2005
Number Four Of The Seven Deadly Signs Of Villainy!
HARLOT!
TROLLOP!
FLOOZY!
Ladies and gentlemen, these are the names you can expect to hear should someone you care about wears a DRESS WITH A SLIT!
What does wearing a dress with a slit say about the wearer, you ask? Wearing a dress with a slit implies you'll lift your skirt, giving one "easy access" to genital warts.
Catwoman has TWO slits in her dress and just look at her crazy evil ass! Hand on her hip. Big hair. Hooker boots. Whipping Batman one minute, trying to give him some butt the next. She's been crazed from so many slits! I'm crazed from so many slits! All's missing is a lamppost behind her!
TROLLOP!
TROLLOP!
FLOOZY!
Ladies and gentlemen, these are the names you can expect to hear should someone you care about wears a DRESS WITH A SLIT!
What does wearing a dress with a slit say about the wearer, you ask? Wearing a dress with a slit implies you'll lift your skirt, giving one "easy access" to genital warts.
Catwoman has TWO slits in her dress and just look at her crazy evil ass! Hand on her hip. Big hair. Hooker boots. Whipping Batman one minute, trying to give him some butt the next. She's been crazed from so many slits! I'm crazed from so many slits! All's missing is a lamppost behind her!
TROLLOP!
Thursday, May 19, 2005
Interesting...
While "Googling" images for future reference, I decided to look up The Absorbascon's Scipio Garling under "Images."
What'd I get?
A picture of a mischievious little imp causing trouble for everyone...AGAIN!
Go to the "Links" section to see what trouble he's getting into this week.
What'd I get?
A picture of a mischievious little imp causing trouble for everyone...AGAIN!
Go to the "Links" section to see what trouble he's getting into this week.
Number Three Of The Seven Deadly Signs Of Villainy!
Whoa-ho-HO! Now, we're talkin' EVIL! Nothing and I do mean NOTHING says evil like...
THE GOATEE!
Rumor has it Satan has one, too.
I implore you not to grow this dubious form of facial hair. There's no medical evidence to support it but it will turn you evil. Ask our friend, Deathstroke, here. Look at him! He's lyin' to someone as I type this!
After growing a goatee, Deathstroke started killing for money and having sex with buck-toothed minors. That's right. The worst of the worst, Deathstroke is among other things, A PEDOPHILE.
Just when you thought, he couldn't get any worse, Deathstroke was last seen teaming up with the BALD AND EVIL Lex Luthor.
BITCHES!
Side effects of the goatee are as follows: excessive stroking of the goatee AND excessive evil. So, don't be a dumb-ass and grow a goatee.
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
THE GOATEE!
Rumor has it Satan has one, too.
I implore you not to grow this dubious form of facial hair. There's no medical evidence to support it but it will turn you evil. Ask our friend, Deathstroke, here. Look at him! He's lyin' to someone as I type this!
After growing a goatee, Deathstroke started killing for money and having sex with buck-toothed minors. That's right. The worst of the worst, Deathstroke is among other things, A PEDOPHILE.
Just when you thought, he couldn't get any worse, Deathstroke was last seen teaming up with the BALD AND EVIL Lex Luthor.
BITCHES!
Side effects of the goatee are as follows: excessive stroking of the goatee AND excessive evil. So, don't be a dumb-ass and grow a goatee.
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
Number Two Of The Seven Deadly Signs Of Villainy
Would you look at THIS smug monocle, wearing bastard! Yes, the wearing of a monocle is considered one of The Seven Deadlies. Ask yourself when was the last time a man wearing a monocle ever brought you a pie?
Has The Penguin ever offered to pet-sit for Killer Moth? NO! He hasn't! Monocle wearers are usually too damned self-absorbed to give a damn. Want other examples? Gentleman Ghost. A monocled, top hat wearing ghost! Dead and STILL sweating his wardrobe.
Dick!
DC Comics believes the monocle such an instrument of evil that they even NAMED one of their villains THE MONOCLE! Now, that's gangsta! His schtick? He wore a monocle that shot laser beams. Gangsta! 50 Cent wants one of these.
Only, I'm sure he would like to meet The Monocle's fate. He died after Manhunter shoved a pole through his monocle, causing his head to blow up. Why'd she do it? She knows evil when she sees it.
Has The Penguin ever offered to pet-sit for Killer Moth? NO! He hasn't! Monocle wearers are usually too damned self-absorbed to give a damn. Want other examples? Gentleman Ghost. A monocled, top hat wearing ghost! Dead and STILL sweating his wardrobe.
Dick!
DC Comics believes the monocle such an instrument of evil that they even NAMED one of their villains THE MONOCLE! Now, that's gangsta! His schtick? He wore a monocle that shot laser beams. Gangsta! 50 Cent wants one of these.
Only, I'm sure he would like to meet The Monocle's fate. He died after Manhunter shoved a pole through his monocle, causing his head to blow up. Why'd she do it? She knows evil when she sees it.
The Seven Deadly Signs Of Villainy!
Presenting number one of THE 7 DEADLY SIGNS OF VILLAINY.
Number one: bald equals evil.
Take Lex Luthor for example. You know he's evil because he's bald AND throwing a temper tantrum. He's kicking the antique globe his employees gave him for Kwanzaa.
ASSHOLE!
Number one: bald equals evil.
Take Lex Luthor for example. You know he's evil because he's bald AND throwing a temper tantrum. He's kicking the antique globe his employees gave him for Kwanzaa.
ASSHOLE!
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Big Mouth Strikes Again!
As you may or may not know, I run a comic book shop. There's a void in comics that needs filling on my comic racks and DC Comics isn't meeting it. I need a "kid's comic" in the vein of Justice League Unlimited, aimed at young female readers. Specifically, one featuring Wonder Woman.
When Wonder Woman was created, she filled a void. 1941, the editors at DC Comics noticed something strange going on: little girls were reading their brothers comic books. For lack of something better, they read whatever their brothers had. If little girls ever saw a woman in a comic, she was either falling out of a window or seducing some curiously celibate yet intrepid hero. Not a lot of role models to choose from. Enter DC Comics to give them someone to look up to: Wonder Woman.
The current Wonder Woman comic, while great, ain't much in the way of kid-friendly. It's not a weird thing to see her suit up in battle armor, blind herself with snake venom and chop off Medusa's head and you know what? She should. Since DC's post "Crisis" re-imagining of her, that's what she does but her original target audience has been left behind.
What I propose is simple, really. A comic done in an animated style focusing on a "tween" Princess Diana's adventures. Bad hair days and bad Ares days, all. Include back-up stories featuring a young Zatanna, on the road with her father, solving mysteries all Nancy Drew-like. Fill it out with solo tales of Starfire and Raven of The Teen Titans and you've got something there.
This is something I would carry in my shop. This is something I'd support with my own money. If you would too, make some noise! Let me know what you think.
When Wonder Woman was created, she filled a void. 1941, the editors at DC Comics noticed something strange going on: little girls were reading their brothers comic books. For lack of something better, they read whatever their brothers had. If little girls ever saw a woman in a comic, she was either falling out of a window or seducing some curiously celibate yet intrepid hero. Not a lot of role models to choose from. Enter DC Comics to give them someone to look up to: Wonder Woman.
The current Wonder Woman comic, while great, ain't much in the way of kid-friendly. It's not a weird thing to see her suit up in battle armor, blind herself with snake venom and chop off Medusa's head and you know what? She should. Since DC's post "Crisis" re-imagining of her, that's what she does but her original target audience has been left behind.
What I propose is simple, really. A comic done in an animated style focusing on a "tween" Princess Diana's adventures. Bad hair days and bad Ares days, all. Include back-up stories featuring a young Zatanna, on the road with her father, solving mysteries all Nancy Drew-like. Fill it out with solo tales of Starfire and Raven of The Teen Titans and you've got something there.
This is something I would carry in my shop. This is something I'd support with my own money. If you would too, make some noise! Let me know what you think.
Monday, May 16, 2005
The Wonder Twins
After checking out DC Comics' solicitations for September. Two things struck me:
Donna Troy, ummmm...cleavage. If I wasn't before, NOW I'm really looking forward to this one.
Donna Troy, ummmm...cleavage. If I wasn't before, NOW I'm really looking forward to this one.
Sunday, May 15, 2005
Thor's Comic Column
I'm back and reviewing comics for CHUD: Thor's Comic Column on a regular basis. Check out this week's reviews as myself and my fellow Vikings Robb, Graig, Sean and Russ slash our way across the comics landscape. This week we tackle Superman #217, Rann/Thanagar War #1 and more. Happy reading!
Saturday, May 14, 2005
Arsenal's Goal
Which former drug addict, terrorist lover and former Checkmate agent would shoot a teammate just to throw everyone off his eventual betrayal of his fellow Outsiders?
Read this month's Outsiders #23.
Read this month's Outsiders #23.
The "NEW" DC Logo
With everyone losing their minds over DC Comics' new logo, I thought I'd take the time to show a new logo, done right.
JSA's logo does everything right. From the minute I saw it, it blew my mind. I mean, just look at it! It is so beautiful. The semi-Art Deco design, its' placement just above Captain Marvel's head. It doesn't just say, "new logo," it says, "If you didn't know, Alex Ross is now our new cover artist and we'd like you to know it. By the way, Capt. Marvel's re-joined the team, as well."
It also reflects, stylistically, the time period The JSA comes from.
It does everything a great cover should do. It gets your notice, it tells you what's inside of the comic and most importantly, to this retailer, it sells comics.
As of this morning, JSA #73 totally sold out at my store, necessitating a re-order.
Covers STILL do sell comics. Even without a monkey.
JSA's logo does everything right. From the minute I saw it, it blew my mind. I mean, just look at it! It is so beautiful. The semi-Art Deco design, its' placement just above Captain Marvel's head. It doesn't just say, "new logo," it says, "If you didn't know, Alex Ross is now our new cover artist and we'd like you to know it. By the way, Capt. Marvel's re-joined the team, as well."
It also reflects, stylistically, the time period The JSA comes from.
It does everything a great cover should do. It gets your notice, it tells you what's inside of the comic and most importantly, to this retailer, it sells comics.
As of this morning, JSA #73 totally sold out at my store, necessitating a re-order.
Covers STILL do sell comics. Even without a monkey.
Friday, May 13, 2005
Identity Crisis 2!
Poetry from the man who brought you "If You Had A Brain, You'd Be Dangerous..."
For Ray (Palmer).
Stupid man!
Why chose a power that makes your meat smaller
Giant-Man makes his taller
little meat
small sections
Apache Chief
gets the big erections
Superman, faster than a speeding bullet
he'll never be alone
Palmer will have to pull it.
Stupid man.
Stupid man!
Look there's Giganta
Another villain whips "it" out!
So, that's why he's called "Black Manta"
Stupid, lonely Ray.
For Ray (Palmer).
Stupid man!
Why chose a power that makes your meat smaller
Giant-Man makes his taller
little meat
small sections
Apache Chief
gets the big erections
Superman, faster than a speeding bullet
he'll never be alone
Palmer will have to pull it.
Stupid man.
Stupid man!
Look there's Giganta
Another villain whips "it" out!
So, that's why he's called "Black Manta"
Stupid, lonely Ray.
In A Very Special Episode Of "The Facts Of Life" Booster "Gets" AIDS.
Well, we all learned something today. Judging from the first panel, Booster doesn't know sh*t but he does know "Shinola."
Oh, yeah.
I hope this helps you "get" AIDS, as well.
Oh, yeah.
I hope this helps you "get" AIDS, as well.
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
Dear DC Comics...
I've noticed that you do not seem to have much of a presence in the "hood." I hope to change that for you. To the right is an image that I hope that you will consider for use as a t-shirt or poster. It is a picture of Black Lightning choking a White man. Thank you for your time.
Signed,
Devon Sanders
Signed,
Devon Sanders
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Beware The Wacky, Backwards-Talking, Italian/Alien Chick.
A while back, Scip Garling and I were talking and I broached the question, "Do you think that Zatanna's mindwiping of Batman in Identity Crisis made him worse?" Well, the events in "Countdown To Infinite Crisis" and "The OMAC Project" kind of bear this out, what with Batman being all paranoid and stuff lately.
Let's look at some of the facts, shall we? Before joining The Justice League, our Batman was quite the loner, until he took on a junior partner, Robin, The Boy Wonder. Some would say Robin had a calming influence upon The Batman, an influence so strong that it helped Batman see the bigger picture. The world is bigger than Gotham and the world needs protecting. Now, Batman goes off and joins The Justice League of America to fight the good fight. Then, something weird happened. Batman started acting more like a superhero and less like a dark vigilante, adapting his symbol from the black bat that used to stretch across his chest to a more "superheroic" small black bat encased in a yellow oval symbol. Batman played well with others for a good long while.
Until....
Identity Crisis.
After attempting to put an end to The League's mindwiping of Dr. Light, Batman received one of his own from The League's resident magician, Zatanna.
And then Batman got all weird. He fired Robin for spending too much time with other superheroes, eventually taking on a newer, edgier Robin, Jason Todd. Batman soon quit The League over philosophical differences, forming a new team, The Outsiders. A team that he eventually went on to disband after he tried to keep an actual war secret from them simply because it wasn't HIS war.
Are these the actions of a sane man? I think not. Did The League, at one time, have a kindler, gentler Batman on their hands only to let him slip away? That's the question that welcomes debate.
Let's look at some of the facts, shall we? Before joining The Justice League, our Batman was quite the loner, until he took on a junior partner, Robin, The Boy Wonder. Some would say Robin had a calming influence upon The Batman, an influence so strong that it helped Batman see the bigger picture. The world is bigger than Gotham and the world needs protecting. Now, Batman goes off and joins The Justice League of America to fight the good fight. Then, something weird happened. Batman started acting more like a superhero and less like a dark vigilante, adapting his symbol from the black bat that used to stretch across his chest to a more "superheroic" small black bat encased in a yellow oval symbol. Batman played well with others for a good long while.
Until....
Identity Crisis.
After attempting to put an end to The League's mindwiping of Dr. Light, Batman received one of his own from The League's resident magician, Zatanna.
And then Batman got all weird. He fired Robin for spending too much time with other superheroes, eventually taking on a newer, edgier Robin, Jason Todd. Batman soon quit The League over philosophical differences, forming a new team, The Outsiders. A team that he eventually went on to disband after he tried to keep an actual war secret from them simply because it wasn't HIS war.
Are these the actions of a sane man? I think not. Did The League, at one time, have a kindler, gentler Batman on their hands only to let him slip away? That's the question that welcomes debate.
Monday, May 09, 2005
And With The Glow Forming Around His Head, Black Lightning Achieved An Almost Messianic Status Amongst Black People...
Today, I salute Black Lightning and what better way than to do it with the seminal piece of Black History that is Justice League of America #173.
After Green Arrow decides The League needs some "color," they proceed to STALK across him the rooftops of Metropolis' Suicide Slum! After Arrow vouches for Black Lightning, The Flash proceeds to chastise Green Arrow saying, "I never thought YOU would suggest we take a TOKEN BLACK..."
oh. my. god.
Returning home from fighting crime all-night, Lightning's alter ego, Jefferson Pierce, needs some shut-eye. He has to TEACH HISTORY CLASS in the morning. So, what does The League do instead of asking him to join in a civil manner?
They attack him! Zatanna dressed like an ape-woman promptly gets her ass kicked. The Flash calling himself "Trans-Visible Man" trips him up and then, proceeds to kick him while he's down! And THEN, when you thought it couldn't get any worse, Green Arrow dressed as "The Swashbuckler," tells him, "You're fast, matey, but you're not fast enough to escape a ball between y' ribs!" As if Green Arrow's inappropriate choice of words wasn't bad enough, he then proceeds to shoot him!
SHOOTS HIM!
After being kicked and shot, Black Lightning does what ANY Black man would do at this point...
Black Lightning choked his ass.
Meanwhile, while The League is busy hazing a man who's NEVER expressed any interest in joining them, a S.T.A.R. labs security guard lies dead, attacked by mind-controlled rats.
I can't make this stuff up!
As an interesting aside, after Batman's leaving The League due to its' Byzantine infrastructure, Batman left to form his own group, The Outsiders. Who was the first person he recruited? Black Lightning. And, how do Batman accomplish this feat?
He asked.
ASKING someone to join a team. What a novel idea.
If getting shot at, being kicked while you're down and "getting a ball between my ribs" is "affirmative action" then you "jive turkeys" can count "The Black Manager" out, as well.
After Green Arrow decides The League needs some "color," they proceed to STALK across him the rooftops of Metropolis' Suicide Slum! After Arrow vouches for Black Lightning, The Flash proceeds to chastise Green Arrow saying, "I never thought YOU would suggest we take a TOKEN BLACK..."
oh. my. god.
Returning home from fighting crime all-night, Lightning's alter ego, Jefferson Pierce, needs some shut-eye. He has to TEACH HISTORY CLASS in the morning. So, what does The League do instead of asking him to join in a civil manner?
They attack him! Zatanna dressed like an ape-woman promptly gets her ass kicked. The Flash calling himself "Trans-Visible Man" trips him up and then, proceeds to kick him while he's down! And THEN, when you thought it couldn't get any worse, Green Arrow dressed as "The Swashbuckler," tells him, "You're fast, matey, but you're not fast enough to escape a ball between y' ribs!" As if Green Arrow's inappropriate choice of words wasn't bad enough, he then proceeds to shoot him!
SHOOTS HIM!
After being kicked and shot, Black Lightning does what ANY Black man would do at this point...
Black Lightning choked his ass.
Meanwhile, while The League is busy hazing a man who's NEVER expressed any interest in joining them, a S.T.A.R. labs security guard lies dead, attacked by mind-controlled rats.
I can't make this stuff up!
As an interesting aside, after Batman's leaving The League due to its' Byzantine infrastructure, Batman left to form his own group, The Outsiders. Who was the first person he recruited? Black Lightning. And, how do Batman accomplish this feat?
He asked.
ASKING someone to join a team. What a novel idea.
If getting shot at, being kicked while you're down and "getting a ball between my ribs" is "affirmative action" then you "jive turkeys" can count "The Black Manager" out, as well.
Sunday, May 08, 2005
My Mother, The Superhero
This Mother's Day I just wanted to take some time to remember my own. She was my favorite "superhero." No one understood "with great power comes great responsibility" better than she. She raised 5 men, teaching them to respect everyone for the uniqueness they brings to God's table.
She taught us that there is a very good reason "truth and justice" should come before "the American Way" and that when those three truly go hand-in-hand, we'll ALL be the better for it.
She taught me that women are God's wonders, though sometimes they may be held down, they always find ways to rise above it all.
In teaching us that life is bigger than "the streets," she literally taught her sons how to avoid and in a sense, deflect bullets.
With my uncle's death at the hands of gunman, she instilled in us a healthy respect of firearms and an even healthier respect for life.
Most of all, she taught me how to read, to write, to laugh and love. The things that help me make it through the day and more than anything this is why I love her.
She taught us that there is a very good reason "truth and justice" should come before "the American Way" and that when those three truly go hand-in-hand, we'll ALL be the better for it.
She taught me that women are God's wonders, though sometimes they may be held down, they always find ways to rise above it all.
In teaching us that life is bigger than "the streets," she literally taught her sons how to avoid and in a sense, deflect bullets.
With my uncle's death at the hands of gunman, she instilled in us a healthy respect of firearms and an even healthier respect for life.
Most of all, she taught me how to read, to write, to laugh and love. The things that help me make it through the day and more than anything this is why I love her.
Saturday, May 07, 2005
Free Comic Book Day: The Aftermath
And another Free Comic Book Day has come and gone and y'know I've got to declare Beyond Comics 2's a success. I've got to hand it to the guys who organize FCBD's promo material. They offer a HUGE banner for display in HUGE windows, which Beyond Comics has. I mean, you can read every word on it easily from 30-40 yards away. I've literally seen it slow down traffic and bring foot traffic into the store. They even offered stores the opportunity to get in on the ground floor of my favorite game, Heroclix, offering an exclusive Free Comic Book Day Batman figure. Never mind the fact that it was an all-new Batman sculpt, a must-have for Heroclix fans but you should have seen the faces of the kids as they're being handed a new Batman figure.
We had people lined up the store before it even opened to get their comics and get them they did. The choice of comics was stronger this year than ever before. DC came through with The Batman Strikes! Archie Comics took Free Comic Book Day to re-introduce a whole new generation to Katy Keene, Teen Fashion Queen, while smaller press comics used FCBD as an chance to intro new ideas to new audiences.
A. David Lewis, writer of "Mortal Coils" and the just released graphic novel, "Lone & Level Sands," stopped by to sign copies of his FCBD offering, "Free Bodies." "It" boy blogger, Scipio Garling of The Absorbascon, stopped by to buy comics on Free Comic Book Day. Why? Simply, because he's good people.
I wish you all could have seen the looks on the kids' faces as they got got their comics. Sheer happiness, I tell you. Well worth the small expense we retailers incur to get them into the hands of customers, new and old.
Free comics combined with happy kids and adults sprinkled with one crack staff (Kevin, Jerome and Ricky), makes the ingredients for another successful Free Comic Book Day.
We had people lined up the store before it even opened to get their comics and get them they did. The choice of comics was stronger this year than ever before. DC came through with The Batman Strikes! Archie Comics took Free Comic Book Day to re-introduce a whole new generation to Katy Keene, Teen Fashion Queen, while smaller press comics used FCBD as an chance to intro new ideas to new audiences.
A. David Lewis, writer of "Mortal Coils" and the just released graphic novel, "Lone & Level Sands," stopped by to sign copies of his FCBD offering, "Free Bodies." "It" boy blogger, Scipio Garling of The Absorbascon, stopped by to buy comics on Free Comic Book Day. Why? Simply, because he's good people.
I wish you all could have seen the looks on the kids' faces as they got got their comics. Sheer happiness, I tell you. Well worth the small expense we retailers incur to get them into the hands of customers, new and old.
Free comics combined with happy kids and adults sprinkled with one crack staff (Kevin, Jerome and Ricky), makes the ingredients for another successful Free Comic Book Day.
Friday, May 06, 2005
Free Comic Book Day!
Saturday, May 7th is Free Comic Book Day! Free Comic Book Day, people. How many industries break their backs (and break open their own wallets) to give something away? You think I'm crazy? Saturday, go to a movie theater and ask for a free ticket. What do you think the response will be? Now, if you go to your friendly, neighborhood comic book store and ask for a free comic, Saturday, what do you think the response will be? Plain and simple, you'll get a free comic book. A FREE comic book!
Saturday, hop across the rooftops with Spider-Man. Feel the cold Gotham wind whip through your cape as you go on an adventure with The Batman. Find out whether you're a Betty or a Veronica, or even a Katy Keene. Laugh, despite yourself, with Johnny Ryan's Loady McGhee. Discover that The Simpsons of the comics, are funnier than The Simpsons of television.
Saturday, May 7th is the day! Discover fun again. Bring the kids! Show them how cool it is to know Batman on a first name basis.
Don't know where your local comic shop is? We've even got that covered for you. 1-888-COMIC BOOK is the number to call to find out. So, come on out to your local comic shop. For one sweet day, fun's on the house.
Saturday, hop across the rooftops with Spider-Man. Feel the cold Gotham wind whip through your cape as you go on an adventure with The Batman. Find out whether you're a Betty or a Veronica, or even a Katy Keene. Laugh, despite yourself, with Johnny Ryan's Loady McGhee. Discover that The Simpsons of the comics, are funnier than The Simpsons of television.
Saturday, May 7th is the day! Discover fun again. Bring the kids! Show them how cool it is to know Batman on a first name basis.
Don't know where your local comic shop is? We've even got that covered for you. 1-888-COMIC BOOK is the number to call to find out. So, come on out to your local comic shop. For one sweet day, fun's on the house.
Wednesday, May 04, 2005
Deathstroke, Who Does Your Tassles?
Deathstroke, Once Again, Overdressed For Lunch at T.G.I. Fridays
Originally uploaded by Devon Sanders.
Their "costumes."
I can't help but remember DC's Silver Age. When a villain found his or her "thing" they went all out with it. If you called yourself The Clock King, then, by God, you wore a clock on your head. "The Golden Glider?" Gold mini-skirt combo with ice skates. Classic. "Crazy Quilt?" Fella dressed like a quilt.
Now? DC's villains dress like Enron executives. Is this a commentary on our society? Yes, it is. Today's villains move in silence, with ninja-like precision, cutting benefits, robbing pension funds.The new "dress code" for the villains of Villains United #1 reflects our perceptions.
Look at it: There's the bald Lex Luthor, pre-Crisis, former mad scientist. Now? Post- Crisis, re-imagined as a billionaire businessman.
Far right: The Calculator, former possessor of a skintight purple outfit with a calculator keypad on his chest. Now? He dresses like the man who ran away with your money and your wife.
Next to the guy with the sword? Dr. Psycho. Translation: Doctor Crazy. Need I say more?
An evil businessman, an evil "stock" analyst and a crazy doctor.
They're scarier than the guy with the sword.
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
"Seven Hell's?" Indeed.
Well, I'm sure you're wondering why I suddenly changed the name of this blog from "If You Had A Brain, You'd Be Dangerous" to "Seven Hells!" The answers were simple really...
One: I could barely remember what it was called, myself.
Two: Last night, while hanging out with blogging's current "IT" boy, Scipio Garling of "The Absorbacon" fame, we were discussing the coolness of the superhero exclamation. You know, like Superman's "Great Scott!" and my favorite, Wonder Woman's "Suffering Sappho!" (I'm big in lesbian circles.) Scip suddenly shouted out, Hawkman's "Seven Hells!"
I, then, proceeded to force feed him his Tourette's meds.
Upon his calming down a bit, we'd both realized we'd stumbled upon THE name for this blog. Two words, speaking volumes. Two words building upon two fans' love of DC Comics. Two simple words describing everything I'm doing through lately.
Three: I was told once that it would not be a strange thing to see me discussing music and art, one minute and running shirtless down the street with a mace in my hand, the next. I thanked them for the compliment.
"Seven Hells!", indeed.
One: I could barely remember what it was called, myself.
Two: Last night, while hanging out with blogging's current "IT" boy, Scipio Garling of "The Absorbacon" fame, we were discussing the coolness of the superhero exclamation. You know, like Superman's "Great Scott!" and my favorite, Wonder Woman's "Suffering Sappho!" (I'm big in lesbian circles.) Scip suddenly shouted out, Hawkman's "Seven Hells!"
I, then, proceeded to force feed him his Tourette's meds.
Upon his calming down a bit, we'd both realized we'd stumbled upon THE name for this blog. Two words, speaking volumes. Two words building upon two fans' love of DC Comics. Two simple words describing everything I'm doing through lately.
Three: I was told once that it would not be a strange thing to see me discussing music and art, one minute and running shirtless down the street with a mace in my hand, the next. I thanked them for the compliment.
"Seven Hells!", indeed.
Monday, May 02, 2005
Rock And Roll Will Lead To Heroism, Drug Use and Baby Mamas
Just the other day I was reading a Nightwing comic and out nowhere this Jane's Addiction song, "Stop!" came on and I thought, "How right is that? Dick Grayson would be a Jane's fan." Their music being frenetic yet oddly melodic sort of reminds me of him, in a way. Well, it got me thinking, "What music do comic book characters listen to besides psychedelic stylings of Roy Harper's "Great Frog?"
See, I think Zatanna would be a HUGE Nina Simone fan. I picture her drunk (again), burning incense, wanting "a little sugar poured into her bowl."
Again.
Kyle Rayner (Green Lantern), HUGE Queen fan and doesn't get the irony, at all.
So, my question to you is this: What music do you think befits a superhero? Remember, no suggestion is too stupid. No song or character too insipid. Have fun!
See, I think Zatanna would be a HUGE Nina Simone fan. I picture her drunk (again), burning incense, wanting "a little sugar poured into her bowl."
Again.
Kyle Rayner (Green Lantern), HUGE Queen fan and doesn't get the irony, at all.
So, my question to you is this: What music do you think befits a superhero? Remember, no suggestion is too stupid. No song or character too insipid. Have fun!
Sunday, May 01, 2005
Power Girl
Why? Because I can.
