Thursday, October 19, 2006


I Suck.

Let me say what you're thinking.

"Devon sucks!"

Yup, I do. Two posts in the month of October constitutes sucking. At least in my world, anyways.

New content will, I promise, commence soon.

That being said, I propose a game, an old game. I recently finished re-reading Alan Moore's League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and it got me thinking:

"If, let's say, an extinction level event happens within the DC Universe and it wasn't necessarily a "job" for The Justice League, what characters would I use?"

I'd like for you to wonder the same.

Difficulty: The characters must contain some iconic value within The DCU. No Superman. No Batman. No "world-gobblers" like The Spectre. No pre-existing teams. No dead characters. The team can only be five to six characters deep.

...and, yes, you can pull from The Vertigo Universe.

Other than that, have at it.

Does the prohibition against dead characters include Deadman?

Let's put that aside for now: I'm going to go with Niles Caulder, Zatanna, Captain Marvel, and Aztek (extinction-level events are what he was bred for, after all!).

If there's intelligence behind the event, and it's not just a natural phenomenon, I'll add Tommy Monaghan to the team, too. And if Lex Luthor isn't disqualified by icon status, I think both his strategic and scientific acumen would be useful, and pragmatically he'd save the world rather than lose the opportunity to rule it.
Is Fate considered a "world gobbler"?

My go-to second-stringers:

Zatanna - she can do anything; it's magic.

Firestorm - he can do anything; it's physics.

Metamorpho - he can do anything; it's chemistry.

Black Canary - she can do anything; it's martial arts. OK, that's lame, but she does help the fishnet theme.

The Question - brings snark factor and high-level figure-it-outitude.

Elasti-Girl. Just 'cause, y'know, she rocks. And she can get really big. Which might come in handy.
Hmmm... non Justice League caliber characters? I would take Arsenal, Red Tornado, Hawkgirl and... wait a minute...

Kidding of course... but not entirely...

I want Steel, Cliff Steele, King Mob (from the Invisibles - anyone who says he's not iconic answers to me!), Tim Drake and Supergirl. Now that's a team with issues!

Deadman's cool. He's alive as far as I'm concerned.


Fate's cool.
OK, then I'd use Deadman to try to thwart an extinction-level event caused by intelligent agencies, and/or Tommy Monaghan if it was unlikely that Boston Brand could diffuse the situation from within, so to speak.

Like, say you're dealing with aliens. I know Deadman can possess Etrigan, but could he take over a Dominator?
I'll field the all-human squad of John Constantine, Amanda Waller, Oracle, Adam Strange, Rip Hunter, and John Henry (pre-52) Irons.
Phantom Stranger as Hannibal Smith
The Question as Faceman
Big Barda as B.A. Baracas
Lady Blackhawk as Howling Mad Murdock
Lois Lane as "Triple A" Allen
Fly in the ointment, but I think John Constantine still has demon blood running through his veins. I couldn't say whether this gives him much in the way of non-human abilities, but it might disqualify him from an all-human team.

Can I just pick the Legion of Super-Heroes with out without Kryptonian level characters?

Of course they deal with extinction-level events fairly regularly.

the GL Corps?

I would say that if you could trust him Lex Luthor would be nice to have on your side for such an event.

And of course the New Guardians!

No, you can't just choose an already pre-existing team.

Those teams have already been done.
I would go with the team of

Barry Allen Flash: the man could do ANYTHING with physics and speed!)-Team Leader

Power Girl: who in theory is Superman level in strength and whatnot.

Firestorm: I agree. The men...can manipulate MATTER. Useful skill.

Detective Chimp: because, let's face it, you'd need a wise-cracking, smart-ass who is also a chimpanzee.

Plastic Man: as Grant Morrison has said, he's a lateral thinker and can change into just about everything and anything..

The Martian Manhunter: the nice one before he went and got all angry..Versatile in powers and knows team dynamics.

Brainiac 5: because you need a Reed Richards type smart guy who can figure out time-space stuff.

Zauriel: because you need a magic dude who's met God.

Johnny Thunder: (or Jakeem Thunder)..but somebody with a magic thunderboldt probably will come in handy with big extinction level events...

hmm....a few too many, but I think it would be a good team!
"Like, say you're dealing with aliens. I know Deadman can possess Etrigan, but could he take over a Dominator?"

Didn't he do just that in Invasion?

As for my Fantastic Five... of DOOM! Uhm... well, they should probably be linked in some way for it to make sense to me. So I'll have to get back to you.
Unfortunately, my copies of Invasion! are in a basement in another state, so let's Google... Well, how about that? Apparently he does, in fact, possess aliens with equal aplomb as humans.

So then I guess it becomes a logistical issue of how do you put Deadman on a team with humans so they can interact meaningfully without having to keep one of the humans constantly out of the loop.
Dr. Fate, Mister Miracle, Rebis, Dr. Light, Captain Marvel, Firestorm, Swamp Thing.

I know, that's seven. But that's the perfect seven!
I am in love with that seven!
I'd want

Hourman (Tyler) (is he dead?)

I think that covers just about anything you'd need to deal with.
Well, Jonn Jonzz can handle pretty much anything by hismelf, being a Superman with lots of extra powers, so he gets to lead the team of

Captain Marvel, Animal Man, Deadman, and Etrigan.
...On the other hand, what it's not so much an extinction level event as a city is being menaced by a bunch of ninja gorillas?

I'd want Christopher Chance (the Human Target), Catwoman, Green Arrow, the Question and Richard Dragon. And Deadshot not in the team proper, but as backup.
"Like, say you're dealing with aliens. I know Deadman can possess Etrigan, but could he take over a Dominator?"

He can, and he has. (In the "Invasion" mini-series)
"but I think John Constantine still has demon blood running through his veins."

He lost that quite a while ago.
It's just occurred to me: this isn't League of Extraordinary Gentlemen at all, it's Seven Soldiers.

"If, let's say, an extinction level event happens within the DC Universe and it wasn't necessarily a "job" for The Justice League, what characters would I use?"

That's Seven Soldiers in a nutshell!

My all-human anti-ninja-gorilla team: Lois Lane, Niles Caulder, the JLU Question, Adam Strange, Ditko's Rac Shade, Batgirl II, and Green Arrow II.


Still like my other seven better!
Jonah Hex - cuz sometimes ya just need a well placed bullet
Me, I'd go with random/ill-defined shady powers: Nightshade.

Eldritch Puissance (great name for a band, by the way): Dr. Fate.

Muscle: Captain Marvel.

Deadman, for sneaky get-your-enemy-to-perform-a-random-triple-lutz-for-no-discernable-reason-ishness.

And Captain Vertigo. 'Cause of the name.
Me, I'd go with random/ill-defined shady powers, 'cause they seem to be do any damn thing: Nightshade.

Eldritch Puissance (great name for a band, by the way): Dr. Fate.

Muscle: Captain Marvel.

Deadman, for sneaky get-your-enemy-to-perform-a-triple-lutz-for-no-discernable-reason-ishness.

And Count Vertigo. 'Cause of the name.
Metamorpho - his versatility would be a major plus.

Firestorm - see everyone else's reasons. He's just perfect for this kind of team.

Lady Blackhawk - Mobility, support, and damn good in a fight.

Wonder Girl - flying powerhouse, every team needs one.

Uncle Sam - powerhouse and major morale boost in one. Would be the natural leader, except in this case he'd defer to:

Mr. Terrific - brains, fighting experience, and leadership experience, with the invisible-to-tech thing as icing on the cake. The brains are the most important aspect; with his scientific know-how, he'd probably know more about Metamorpho and Firestorm's potential than they do, and he'd bump them up into a whole new world of effectiveness.

Mr. Terrific!

John Constantine, Captain Marvel, Deadman, Star Sapphire (The real one's not dead, she's just married), and Swamp Thing.
Prez Rickard, 'cause he can always use his iconic strengh to boost all performances to "truth, justice and the american way". If being totalled away from the COIE means "dead", we can put in the blender... Snapper Carr. Powerless, but with the needed big heart. Doc Magnus, 'cause he has sheer genious and he's unpredictable and carries a very dramatic prozac addiction that can make the performance more interesting. Firestorm, 'cause he's both a rookie both a scientist, and even if only for one week, he led the Justice League, and the year later scored with the chick and saved the world. Almost. Mister Terrific 'cause he's the man of a thousand talents, a Renaissance man who can know everything useful in a mission. Plus, Zatanna as the cute damsel with sheer powers and uncanny abilities. She can do all the magic tricks in her bag, plus, if you need the damsel in distress, a tranquillizer dart straight in her neck (or a garrote, an ancient muteness spell, a bout of laryingitis, some superglue into her snacks...), an hidden cell in the villain base and you'll have a mute damsel in distress ready to be saved. Then I'll end all with an experienced powerhouse... Iron Munro is still quite strong. He's old too, but his age doesn't prevent him to bend steel, share some old trick with the youngsters, and Terrific could do all the thinking. Plus, he's not affected by K, only by his rash way of thinking, so he can be useful to blow up covers like the younger Firestorm.
Ragnell, I'm in awe! The Star Sapphire thing is genius!, truly "Seven Soldiers"! But, I'm switching my own "C.M." to Captain Marvel Jr. because I have these qualms about C.M. himself being too much of a "world-gobbler".

Wanna come? That blue suit is pretty nifty...

Can I just say again that I think the nomination of Star Sapphire is genius?

You're right: possibly too much beer on my part. Apologies.

Anonymous, I am about to comment on you! After I sleep. First approximation: you're nuts. But in a good way!
My six...

Mr. Terrific - For those third smartest man/invisible to technology

Kilowog - After the Green Lanterns from Earth who is more iconic.

Lobo - Because every team needs a jerk on it

Firestorm- I know everyone else has him.

Swamp Thing - He represents the world itself. Does that make him a "gobbler"

Starman - Because no one knows what it means to be a hero like someone who never wanted to be one.
Here's mine:

John Constantine

Black Adam (Killed the spirit of Nazism with his two bare hands. That says a lot about a man's abilities in my book.)

Power Girl (If she can survive two Crisis' she can survive anything)

John Stewart (Knows about extinction level events after helping to prevent one and causing one.)

Mr. Miracle

Mr. Terrific



Aztek, Sand, Stargirl, the new Blue Beetle, Impulse, Animal Man, and Matter-Eater Lad.

That should do it.
From Vertigo? Global threat? :D

Then uh Spectre Swamp Thing Zatanna and uhhh Frankenstein. Because he's awesome.
OK, if the universe is really in peril, and you absolutely, positively have to stop the Ultimate Big Bad, and the JLA is dead...

My "New Ultramarines of America" would be (my apologies to the Justice League):

Mon-El for Superman
Kryptonian level powers without pesky weaknesses, thanks to Brainiac 5's lead serum. Team leader- he is infinitely strategic and patient, thanks to his 1000 year exile in the Phantom Zone. He can think hundreds of moves ahead.

Oracle for Batman
Props to those who chose Mr. Terrific, he's a good choice too. But Batman's strengths are not the physical, especially for a cosmic-level event. Oracle has experience and insight no one else can match. She doesn't have to get anywhere near the danger to be a threat.

Big Barda for Wonder Woman
Does this really need an explanation?

Rebis for Flash
The Negative Energy being can move at extraordinary speeds and can do heavy damage. Rebis is also familiar with the weird side of the DCU.

Dr. Fate for Green Lantern
Heavy hitter with a magic object and versatile powers. Done.

Metamorpho for Martian Manhunter
Wish I though of him first, but he seems to be a natural for this role by acclimation.

Animal Man for Aquaman
Really powerful. Creative, and a really cool jacket. Everyone loves him, right?
I'd go with...

Tuatara: the ability to look ahead in time an hour or so to see the likely outcome of a particular course of action would be very helpful in an extinction-level sh*tstorm.

Flying Fox: you need a mystic guy (or gal), plus he fought as a boy in WWII with the Young All-Stars so he's seen it all.

Mary Marvel: because you need a heavy-hitter and everyone else is picking Captain Marvel.

Wildfire: because he's my favorite Legionaire.

Pinky the Whiz Kid: because you've got to be an over-achiever to be a successful superhero with a name like that.

Platinum: because she deserves to be known as more than just the female robot in love with her creator.

This team would would be horribly ineffective and certain cannon-fodder, but if the big-bad were written as completely incompetent at critical junctures and if a duex-ex machina or two were thrown in, they could save the world!
I think there should be a team of "misters":

Mister Majestic (strength+power)
Mister Terrific (brains)
Mister Miracle (escape artist)
Mister E (occult knowledge)
Mister Scarlet (just for the hell of it)
Metamorpho - versatile, smart;

Mr. Terrific - really really smart, a leader;

Question - clever, sees things from a different angle;

Zauriel - more powerful than Hawkman, used to dealing with BIG events, used to work for God;

Mr. Miracle - smart, can get them out of any jams the team is in;

Zatanna - magic smarts, powerful magic, fishnets. (Besides, Mr. Terrific is going to need to shack up with somebody).

I tried so hard to keep Hawkman here (millenia of experience, can fill the Mr. Hyde role on the team), but considering what happened when he led the JSA into Khandaq, I figured I'd comprimise and combine him with Captain Marvel to get Zauriel.
Kid Eternity
He can summon an army from the biggest names in history

Captain Boomerang
Because he's so damn cool

Mr. Terrific
All in the name, baby


Covers the magic, firepower, psychic and purple eye color aspects needed for any team

When you need something broke, go to the expert
Mister Terrific, to lead the team.

Mary Marvel, to fly around, hit things, and draw a few extra male readers.

Zatanna, because she rocks. I think she and Mary would get along well, too.

The All-New Atom, both for the versatility of his powers, and the quality of his character.

John Stewart, since you can't go wrong with a Green Lantern, and his star is rising after Justice League/JLU.

Wildcat, for the rugged manliness he lends to everything he does.

Captain Atom, because someone will need to develop their powers to an omnipotent peak, before dying dramatically and taking the villain with them.
Travis Clevenger (from Bloodhound), Mister Miracle, Mark Shaw, Odd Man and King Faraday.

Not because they are a particularily good team, but I would singlehandedly induce a global freakout if they were fighting gorillas.
Travis Clevinger! Good choice!
I think a good writer can make ANY combination of characters work.

That being said, here are my five:

Mary Marvel-As powerful as Wonder Woman, gets her abilities from magic, which can come in handy, and is really smart on top of it. Would be an encouraging person to have around, too, with her positive attitude and all.

Dr. Light II-A brilliant scientist AND powerful enough to ventilate the Anti-Monitor. A take-no-crap-from-nobody lady with international contacts, to boot.

Amazing Man II-I know he's considered deceased, but his powers leave the door open for an easy resurrection (did I just type that?). The guy's powers are so versatile! He can absorb other people's powers and turn into any substance he touches. He played a key role in taking down the Overmaster, a guy powerful enough to blow up the Earth. Definitely a dude I'd want on my squad.

Mister Miracle-Can get the team out of any trap or other jam they might happen to get into. Has New Genesis technology, including a Mother Box, a Multi-Cube, and a Boom Tube. Can call in guys like Orion, Lightray, not to mention his spouse Barda if backup is needed.

Echo-You might be wondering, "Um...who? What you talkin' 'bout, Anonymous?" She's a long-forgotten DC character, a rock star who is also a superhero. She can reflect any force directed against her back at its source. Ideally, she's pretty much invincible. I don't know why the heroes didn't look her up in the ol' Rolodex when Superboy Prime was rampaging through the universe. Plus she can carry a tune, which is never a bad thing.
The brain and leader-type:
The Chief

The muscle:
Power Girl

The magic:

The speedster:

The sneak:

The wildcard:
Rex the Wonder Dog
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