Monday, October 31, 2005
Character Donation #106
Vibration much like mistakes CAN be manmade.
VIBE is one of the hugest EVER to infect The DC Universe. No amount of convincing will convince me otherwise.
I do not send Vibe off to Marvel easily. Do you know how much it costs to ship a coffin?
BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
The "BWAHAHAHAHA's" didn't come into effect until after Vibe's unfortunate demise. Let's face it, in order for them to come, sacrifices had to to be made. Vibe was a very good place to start.
We all needed to laugh again. Vibe's death showed us the way.
With Vibe's death, the way was opened up for any one of these guys to tickle our ribs.
The way was opened up for The Martian Manhunter to take his rightful place as a member of "The Magnificent 7."
Vibe's death was a necessary evil, one needed to help usher in a new Golden Age. Vibe, with his obsessive pop-locking and constant cries for attention by exhibiting "attitude" came down to nothing more than time-wasting filler much like these guys...
who aren't Iron Man, Captain America, Thor or Hawkeye seem to be doing elsewhere.
In that sense, Vibe is a member of a truly elite squad. They're coming to take Daddy home, Scip.
TRICK OR TREAT!!!!!
VIBE is one of the hugest EVER to infect The DC Universe. No amount of convincing will convince me otherwise.
I do not send Vibe off to Marvel easily. Do you know how much it costs to ship a coffin?
BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
The "BWAHAHAHAHA's" didn't come into effect until after Vibe's unfortunate demise. Let's face it, in order for them to come, sacrifices had to to be made. Vibe was a very good place to start.
We all needed to laugh again. Vibe's death showed us the way.
With Vibe's death, the way was opened up for any one of these guys to tickle our ribs.
The way was opened up for The Martian Manhunter to take his rightful place as a member of "The Magnificent 7."
Vibe's death was a necessary evil, one needed to help usher in a new Golden Age. Vibe, with his obsessive pop-locking and constant cries for attention by exhibiting "attitude" came down to nothing more than time-wasting filler much like these guys...
who aren't Iron Man, Captain America, Thor or Hawkeye seem to be doing elsewhere.
In that sense, Vibe is a member of a truly elite squad. They're coming to take Daddy home, Scip.
TRICK OR TREAT!!!!!
Saturday, October 29, 2005
I Love Mondays!
I say this with no hyperbole:
October 31st, a posting assured to cause controversy.
Worlds will shatter. Friendships tested. Tears shed.
Consider your internet already broken in half.
Friday, October 28, 2005
Number Four of "Seven Hells' Soldiers"
B.S. is reserved for those who actually care about the daily goings-on of Paris Hilton. We're creating a new place in "Seven Hells!" specifically for them. The older I get, the more I crave substance. I want things that make sense, wanting more situations and opportunities I can just reach out and grab. I need tangibility, order.
When I don't get it, I just want to bop someone over the head and just fly away from it all. That is why I want to be this man, this truest of men. The fourth of "Seven Hells'! Soldiers"...
What makes him so special, you ask? The fact that he is a superhero? All superheroes are special!
No. What makes Hawkman special is that he really ain't. When you get to the heart of Hawkman or better yet, Katar Hol (Carter Hall), he's just a cop.
Katar Hol was a Thanagarian police officer who came to Earth hunting an escaped convict and decided to stick around for a little while.
An alien cop but nonetheless, a cop. There're hundreds of this guy back home!
How cool do you have to be come from another planet, have no superpowers and then be asked to become a member of The Justice League?
Damned cool.
Apparently, in The DC Universe the ability to swing a mace while sporting a hairy chest truly, truly counts for something. It means something here, as well.
What truly strikes me is Hawkman's sense of self. When you're his friend, you become a friend for life. Your fight will become his. His sword will become yours. His mace, yours. Ask The Atom, Wildcat, anyone. Hawkman is someone you want by your side in any sort of fight.
What else do I like about Hawkman? He is, easily, the most romantic character ever created in the pages of comics, literally hundreds of deaths in the hopes of someday being reunited with his eternal beloved, Shayera (Hawkgirl). Somedays, I won't cross a street to be reunited with mine. (I keed.)
Who couldn't love a guy who's first living words are, "A hundred other lifetimes I've known. I remember them all--- but most of all, I remember you..."
Assist me to the couch! I think I'm going to faint! There's just too much man going on there.
Could he be romantic? Look no further than Green Arrow #12, upon hearing that his favorite target, The Green Arrow is also back from the dead and courting Black Canary, Hawkman tells him to, "Treat her with care and caution. Respect her boundaries. Do not rush her into a relationship just yet."
I strive to be this guy. I want to be secure enough in my manliness to walk around shirtless, dispensing justice and cautionary tales of love. The DCU is simply a better place because Hawkman is within it.
When I don't get it, I just want to bop someone over the head and just fly away from it all. That is why I want to be this man, this truest of men. The fourth of "Seven Hells'! Soldiers"...
What makes him so special, you ask? The fact that he is a superhero? All superheroes are special!
No. What makes Hawkman special is that he really ain't. When you get to the heart of Hawkman or better yet, Katar Hol (Carter Hall), he's just a cop.
Katar Hol was a Thanagarian police officer who came to Earth hunting an escaped convict and decided to stick around for a little while.
An alien cop but nonetheless, a cop. There're hundreds of this guy back home!
How cool do you have to be come from another planet, have no superpowers and then be asked to become a member of The Justice League?
Damned cool.
Apparently, in The DC Universe the ability to swing a mace while sporting a hairy chest truly, truly counts for something. It means something here, as well.
What truly strikes me is Hawkman's sense of self. When you're his friend, you become a friend for life. Your fight will become his. His sword will become yours. His mace, yours. Ask The Atom, Wildcat, anyone. Hawkman is someone you want by your side in any sort of fight.
What else do I like about Hawkman? He is, easily, the most romantic character ever created in the pages of comics, literally hundreds of deaths in the hopes of someday being reunited with his eternal beloved, Shayera (Hawkgirl). Somedays, I won't cross a street to be reunited with mine. (I keed.)
Who couldn't love a guy who's first living words are, "A hundred other lifetimes I've known. I remember them all--- but most of all, I remember you..."
Assist me to the couch! I think I'm going to faint! There's just too much man going on there.
Could he be romantic? Look no further than Green Arrow #12, upon hearing that his favorite target, The Green Arrow is also back from the dead and courting Black Canary, Hawkman tells him to, "Treat her with care and caution. Respect her boundaries. Do not rush her into a relationship just yet."
I strive to be this guy. I want to be secure enough in my manliness to walk around shirtless, dispensing justice and cautionary tales of love. The DCU is simply a better place because Hawkman is within it.
Thursday, October 27, 2005
The Lone And Level Sands
Geoff Johns was once a nobody. Brian Michael Bendis used to write porn comics!
A. David Lewis is a former customer of mine. He also happens to be a writer. His current work, The Lone And Level Sands, is being previewed over at Newsarama.
Dave's a hell of a guy with a deep, deep love of comics and it shows on every written page. So, g'wan! Haul yourself over to Newsarama to check out The Lone And Level Sands, available soon.
Do it because you love comics. Do it so he doesn't have to write porn comics on his way to fame.
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Number Five Of "Seven Hells!" Soldiers"
During the '80's, I really didn't like Dick....
Grayson.
Better yet, I didn't care for Dick Grayson as Robin.
He was always crying, gritting his teeth while screaming about his wanting independence from Batman. While doing so, he was sleeping with a big-breasted, alien warrior princess from a race descended from cats.
That The Batman allowed him get away with this sh*t without disowning him was not only a testimony to tolerance and good parenting. I will live if my child is not what I expected him or her to be. Boy or girl. Straight or gay. I'll deal. Only one thing, one thing could cause me to disown my child: his or her becoming a furry.
Dick Grayson is something of a furry.
*shudder*
Through the years, Dick lived up to his name, while changing his other name, bringing along a rather dubious change of costume. He also went on to grow a mullet and then a ponytail eventually realizing how low he'd sunk, he left The Teen Titans.
Then, something good happened. With one issue, writer Chuck Dixon got to him and finally.... let Dick's balls drop.
The first thing did was establish him in his own city, just outside of Gotham. The second? He cut off the ponytail. Third, he had him doing what he was born to do: kick ass!
Keep in mind, up to this point, I was still only liking "the kid." He was still the original Robin. You had to like him. Loving the character of Batman is kinda like falling for a woman with kids. You've gotta learn to love those kids if you truly wanna be with that woman, no matter how knotheaded the kid may be. Even if the kid's Azrael.
It was with issue 19 that I finally got Nightwing.
Gotham City, the city that adopted Dick as one of its' own, has been hit hard by an earthquake. Fatalities haven't yet been tallied. They cannot even be guessed at. Emergency services are stretched to their limits with no relief in sight.
In Bludhaven, a TV screen screams of the horrors witnessed and those to come. While everyone talks and assesses the damage, Dick Grayson has already left Bludhaven to go home.
The only access to Gotham is by boat and upon his arrival, he's stopped cold by the sight of the unrecognizable thing trying to pass itself off as Gotham. He allows himself this moment, to let his mind linger. He asks, "How...?," but knowing it's the wrong question, he asks, "Where?" He knows there are others who need him. Something catches on the the boat's police band radio...
A bus with eleven on board has fallen into an earthquake-created sinkhole. Water from broken water mains fills the bus, threating to drown everyone on board. Emergency services are already overwhelmed. If these people are to live, they'll need help now. With nothing but himself and a rope, he descends taking command of the situation, calming fears, enabling those who moments ago were near death. A mother asks that her child be taken first. Scared, not for himself but for his mother, the child asks "Batman" if he'll save his mommy.
No hesitation. No being taken aback by Kenny's "error." In this time of uncertainty,if this child needs Batman, tonight Nightwing will be whoever this child needs him to be.
Nine more trips, hand over fists to the top with Kenny's mom staying below to help the injured.
Gotham shudders. An aftershock. Ground gives and metal twists as the city threatens to swallow whole one of her children. It won't happen. Not this day. Nightwing made a promise to save this child's mother. In the coming days, he will need her more than the city ever will. The bus floods. The fissure closes. A child screams. A promise is kept.
Before the night is done, more will be made...
and that is why I love Nightwing. He won't quit. He simply doesn't know how not to. In that, he's more like his "father" than he'll ever realize.
Grayson.
Better yet, I didn't care for Dick Grayson as Robin.
He was always crying, gritting his teeth while screaming about his wanting independence from Batman. While doing so, he was sleeping with a big-breasted, alien warrior princess from a race descended from cats.
That The Batman allowed him get away with this sh*t without disowning him was not only a testimony to tolerance and good parenting. I will live if my child is not what I expected him or her to be. Boy or girl. Straight or gay. I'll deal. Only one thing, one thing could cause me to disown my child: his or her becoming a furry.
Dick Grayson is something of a furry.
*shudder*
Through the years, Dick lived up to his name, while changing his other name, bringing along a rather dubious change of costume. He also went on to grow a mullet and then a ponytail eventually realizing how low he'd sunk, he left The Teen Titans.
Then, something good happened. With one issue, writer Chuck Dixon got to him and finally.... let Dick's balls drop.
The first thing did was establish him in his own city, just outside of Gotham. The second? He cut off the ponytail. Third, he had him doing what he was born to do: kick ass!
Keep in mind, up to this point, I was still only liking "the kid." He was still the original Robin. You had to like him. Loving the character of Batman is kinda like falling for a woman with kids. You've gotta learn to love those kids if you truly wanna be with that woman, no matter how knotheaded the kid may be. Even if the kid's Azrael.
It was with issue 19 that I finally got Nightwing.
Gotham City, the city that adopted Dick as one of its' own, has been hit hard by an earthquake. Fatalities haven't yet been tallied. They cannot even be guessed at. Emergency services are stretched to their limits with no relief in sight.
In Bludhaven, a TV screen screams of the horrors witnessed and those to come. While everyone talks and assesses the damage, Dick Grayson has already left Bludhaven to go home.
The only access to Gotham is by boat and upon his arrival, he's stopped cold by the sight of the unrecognizable thing trying to pass itself off as Gotham. He allows himself this moment, to let his mind linger. He asks, "How...?," but knowing it's the wrong question, he asks, "Where?" He knows there are others who need him. Something catches on the the boat's police band radio...
A bus with eleven on board has fallen into an earthquake-created sinkhole. Water from broken water mains fills the bus, threating to drown everyone on board. Emergency services are already overwhelmed. If these people are to live, they'll need help now. With nothing but himself and a rope, he descends taking command of the situation, calming fears, enabling those who moments ago were near death. A mother asks that her child be taken first. Scared, not for himself but for his mother, the child asks "Batman" if he'll save his mommy.
No hesitation. No being taken aback by Kenny's "error." In this time of uncertainty,if this child needs Batman, tonight Nightwing will be whoever this child needs him to be.
Nine more trips, hand over fists to the top with Kenny's mom staying below to help the injured.
Gotham shudders. An aftershock. Ground gives and metal twists as the city threatens to swallow whole one of her children. It won't happen. Not this day. Nightwing made a promise to save this child's mother. In the coming days, he will need her more than the city ever will. The bus floods. The fissure closes. A child screams. A promise is kept.
Before the night is done, more will be made...
and that is why I love Nightwing. He won't quit. He simply doesn't know how not to. In that, he's more like his "father" than he'll ever realize.
Saturday, October 22, 2005
Number Six Of "Seven Hells!" Soldiers"
It was Justice League: Europe #1, that first time I truly paid any attention to her...and them, those sun-kissed orbs. Oh, I'd seen her before but she for some reason she just never registered. Then, JLE artist Bart Sears just kinda put her out there on the cover for everyone to see. Somehow this...girl...was more woman than Wonder Woman! Upon reading, I registered more than just the obvious. Right there, in all her glory, putting the skids on The Fastest Man-Child Alive's clumsy advances, exhibiting something many DC characters seemed to lack in The 80's:
Genuine, honest-to-goodness brass ones.
Where Wildcat had to hide his in a sack, she wore hers out for the world to see, daring anyone to disrespect her right to do so. Where Wonder Woman politely asked for equality, this character demanded it. She embodied everything Wonder Woman envisioned, just yesterday. She was the first female character I'd ever read who knew it was OK to not always be willing to "smile pretty for the camera."
Number Six? Who else could it be but...?
POWER GIRL!!!
Whether kicking The Psycho-Pirate's ass, running her own software company or taking the piss out of Wildcat, you know what you're going to get from Power Girl: one woman launching all-torpedoes, hammering whatever's in the way, whether it be a wall, a bad guy or a boilermaker, looking fabulous in the doing so.
Where I admire Wildcat for being a guy, I LOVE Power Girl for simply being a bit of...well..a broad. She wants whatever the day brings, making no apologies on how she went about getting what she could out of it. She is a character in all ways possible and positive.
Since that fateful day, I haven't looked back, only forward. It is simply the best way of appreciating her.
Pirate, you have no idea how many characters would love to be where you are right now, basking in the glow of those sun-kissed orbs.
Genuine, honest-to-goodness brass ones.
Where Wildcat had to hide his in a sack, she wore hers out for the world to see, daring anyone to disrespect her right to do so. Where Wonder Woman politely asked for equality, this character demanded it. She embodied everything Wonder Woman envisioned, just yesterday. She was the first female character I'd ever read who knew it was OK to not always be willing to "smile pretty for the camera."
Number Six? Who else could it be but...?
POWER GIRL!!!
Whether kicking The Psycho-Pirate's ass, running her own software company or taking the piss out of Wildcat, you know what you're going to get from Power Girl: one woman launching all-torpedoes, hammering whatever's in the way, whether it be a wall, a bad guy or a boilermaker, looking fabulous in the doing so.
Where I admire Wildcat for being a guy, I LOVE Power Girl for simply being a bit of...well..a broad. She wants whatever the day brings, making no apologies on how she went about getting what she could out of it. She is a character in all ways possible and positive.
Since that fateful day, I haven't looked back, only forward. It is simply the best way of appreciating her.
Pirate, you have no idea how many characters would love to be where you are right now, basking in the glow of those sun-kissed orbs.
Friday, October 21, 2005
Number Seven of "Seven Hells!" Soldiers"
Everyone has a favorite comic book character. Some have seven. I am one of those. The DC Universe is a full and vast place where characters like Catman can go from "ashy to classy" in the space it takes to tell six issues worth of story. A place where an announcement of an Ambush Bug Heroclix makes grown men and women all squishy with anticipation.
Because no one asked, happily answers the question, "Devon? Who are your favorite DC characters?"
No one asks and dammit, I always deliver!
Number Seven?
In the 40's, up-and-coming heavyweight boxer, Ted Grant was tricked into killing an opponent by shady promoters. Y'know, by using the ol' "Place-a-poison- needle-in-the-boxing-glove" trick. It happens to the best of us. Grant, knowing the promoters would kill him before the truth got out, overheard some kids talking about their favorite superhero, The Green Lantern. Inspired by his future comrade-in-arms, Grant went onto create the persona of Wildcat. Upon clearing his name, Grant realized he could use his fists to do more than smash opponents. He could smash...wait for it....
EVIL!!!!
He's been doing so solo and as a founding member of the premiere superhero team, JSA since 1942.
Current retconning has revealed Wildcat as the man who taught self-defense to some of DC's greatest martial artists: Batman, Catwoman and his god-daughter, The Black Canary.
That, in and of itself, should make him cool but it ain't. What sets Wildcat apart from the rest of The DCU? In a universe of gods and monsters, Wildcat goes out with nothing but his fists. No super-intellect. No Power Ring. No super-strength. Just Ted "Wildcat" Grant. Ted Grant is his own f*****' gimmick and Ted Grant ain't no f*****' gimmick! He lives the life 24/7. How cool is he?!
For God's sake! His nickname is "The Big Cat!" That's the type of nickname you earn.
Well, he's just...he's just...just such a f*****' guy. He smokes his smokes, drinks his drink while staying out way too late. He LOVES big t*ts, grabs too much ass, apologizes later and still finds the time to be a role model to Stargirl.
Ted Grant is the man I suspect many of us wish we could have been.
Did I mention that in JSA #10, he single-handedly defeated a seven-man Injustice Society team, clad in nothing but a wet towel with a cast on his broken right arm, only after having phone sex with Catwoman?
What'd he do afterwards? Beer in hand, he, literally, picked his teeth clean with Blackbriar Thorn.
In the words of King Polybus, "That's my m*****f*****!"
Wildcat is a Bill Finger creation.
What more reason do you need to love "The Big Cat?"
Name a character revealed as being the only person "man enough" to "keep up" with Hippolyta, Queen of MILF's and Amazons?
The man said it best...
Because no one asked, happily answers the question, "Devon? Who are your favorite DC characters?"
No one asks and dammit, I always deliver!
Number Seven?
In the 40's, up-and-coming heavyweight boxer, Ted Grant was tricked into killing an opponent by shady promoters. Y'know, by using the ol' "Place-a-poison- needle-in-the-boxing-glove" trick. It happens to the best of us. Grant, knowing the promoters would kill him before the truth got out, overheard some kids talking about their favorite superhero, The Green Lantern. Inspired by his future comrade-in-arms, Grant went onto create the persona of Wildcat. Upon clearing his name, Grant realized he could use his fists to do more than smash opponents. He could smash...wait for it....
EVIL!!!!
He's been doing so solo and as a founding member of the premiere superhero team, JSA since 1942.
Current retconning has revealed Wildcat as the man who taught self-defense to some of DC's greatest martial artists: Batman, Catwoman and his god-daughter, The Black Canary.
That, in and of itself, should make him cool but it ain't. What sets Wildcat apart from the rest of The DCU? In a universe of gods and monsters, Wildcat goes out with nothing but his fists. No super-intellect. No Power Ring. No super-strength. Just Ted "Wildcat" Grant. Ted Grant is his own f*****' gimmick and Ted Grant ain't no f*****' gimmick! He lives the life 24/7. How cool is he?!
For God's sake! His nickname is "The Big Cat!" That's the type of nickname you earn.
Well, he's just...he's just...just such a f*****' guy. He smokes his smokes, drinks his drink while staying out way too late. He LOVES big t*ts, grabs too much ass, apologizes later and still finds the time to be a role model to Stargirl.
Ted Grant is the man I suspect many of us wish we could have been.
Did I mention that in JSA #10, he single-handedly defeated a seven-man Injustice Society team, clad in nothing but a wet towel with a cast on his broken right arm, only after having phone sex with Catwoman?
What'd he do afterwards? Beer in hand, he, literally, picked his teeth clean with Blackbriar Thorn.
In the words of King Polybus, "That's my m*****f*****!"
Wildcat is a Bill Finger creation.
What more reason do you need to love "The Big Cat?"
Name a character revealed as being the only person "man enough" to "keep up" with Hippolyta, Queen of MILF's and Amazons?
The man said it best...
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Legends: That Other Crossover
Is everyone still breaking their necks to either deify or vilify last week's release of Infinite Crisis #1? Somehow, simultaneously, everyone seems to have suddenly realized their either love or dislike of Crisis On Infinite Earths.
All well and good. It keeps the mind off of sex, drugs and Armageddon 2001, I guess.
Last week, in the LCS that I run I found myself inexplicably drawn to the trade paperback racks and sitting there, lonely and forgotten, was a copy of Legends. I read it and upon finishing it, I realized something. Legends, unlike Crisis, had impact. It holds up.
Where Crisis failed to cohesively reinvent The DC Universe, Legends pretty much accomplished what it set out to do: re-introduce and re-establish the icons of The DC Universe.
Superman
Batman
Wonder Woman
The Flash
Captain Marvel
and...
The Martian Manhunter
Post-Crisis, The DCU was a very fractured place with its' icons jockeying for some kind of identity other than the ones they'd had for some fifty years before. Gone was the Superman who built nuclear reactors while Lana and Lois clapped approving, unknowgly cheering for their own oblivion. That Superman was replaced with one who was like "us." He was burdened with human frailties, self-dou...
This one was a p****.
He was constantly explaining why he couldn't do the things he used to do. Why? The Crisis had made him more "man" than "super" and I was becoming very bored very quickly. I wanted to like this guy. He was always telling me why I shouldn't.
Post-Crisis, Wonder Woman hadn't yet made her grand superhero entrance. She was to busy learning English, looking at everything with wide-eyes and praying butt naked to Zeus while he looked on approvingly, thinking, "Daddy's trying to tap that ass."
We had a Batman. One not particulary interested in being seen with other superheroes. Thanks to Frank Miller, his head just wasn't there anymore. We had a Superman. A metrosexual Superman but a Superman, nonetheless. When would we ever have a Wonder Woman could join this crazy fray?
Legends established The DCU as it stands today. Legends re-ignited The DCU.
Where Crisis destroyed, Legends re-built. The Martian Manhunter, then languishing as a member of Justice League: Detroit is placed next to icons with a forward eye towards establishing him as the very conscience of The Justice League.
Where did the former Kid Flash, Wally West take his first steps in becoming The Flash for a whole new generation of readers?
Legends.
Captain Marvel, once seen as nothing other than a lesser Superman is re-inserted into the DC mythos as simply what he should be: A young boy who with one magic word becomes enabled in conquering his fears.
When the evil Darkseid unleashes a scheme to turn public opinion against the world's superheroes, it's left to them to save the world that no longer wants but needs them and they did it. That's what heroes get together and do.
Legends hold up because it did what it needed to do, establish and get out of the way. Legends was the book that gave recent DCU inductee, The Blue Beetle, the light-hearted personality we came to love. Before, in Crisis, he'd been portrayed as a short tempered science guy. Without Legends, you wouldn't have liked The Blue Beetle so much.
Legends established The Justice League as something other than "Superman, Batman Wonder Woman and Everyone Else." Gone were The Big Three, replaced with lesser known yet just as capable characters like Black Canary, Dr. Fate and Guy Gardner.
Legends gave us Guy Gardner.
We'll forgive them.
Legends gave us The Suicide Squad, as well.
We'll love it for that.
Did I mention that John Ostrander wrote Legends?
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Comics I Need To See In My Lifetime, Part 2
Saturday, October 15, 2005
Foreshadowing of The Bat
What do we have here, hm?
Is this page 15 of Infinite Crisis #1? Some would call it that. Some would simply call it a nice visual. I, Devon Sanders, would suppose it to be...
FORSHADOWING!
The Spectre does not just show up in Gotham with The Bat-Signal on his chest for nothing!
What could this mean, this Spectre of things-to-come hovering over Gotham?
Could Jim Corrigan, with his intermittent Gotham Central appearances, be nothig but a barrell of red herring?
Could it be that DC's greatest force of justice could soon become The Spectre, its' greatest force of vengeance?
Discuss amongst yourselves.
Is this page 15 of Infinite Crisis #1? Some would call it that. Some would simply call it a nice visual. I, Devon Sanders, would suppose it to be...
FORSHADOWING!
The Spectre does not just show up in Gotham with The Bat-Signal on his chest for nothing!
What could this mean, this Spectre of things-to-come hovering over Gotham?
Could Jim Corrigan, with his intermittent Gotham Central appearances, be nothig but a barrell of red herring?
Could it be that DC's greatest force of justice could soon become The Spectre, its' greatest force of vengeance?
Discuss amongst yourselves.
Thursday, October 13, 2005
Guess Who Has Gas!
I, like many a current thirty-something, first encountered the character of Metamorpho in the 80's comic Batman and The Outsiders. I was not impressed, at all. In the pages of BaTO,Metamorpho was more often than not, portrayed as an incredibly somber li'l b***h, constantly pining over some chica named Sapphire Stagg. More often than not, Metamorpho was consistently drawn as a bouncing ball.
A... bouncing... ball.
I mean, c'mon, son. You got to stand side-by-side with Black Lightning on a consistent basis and all you could do is whine and turn into a ball.
Fetal B**** is what we should have called you in the 80's.
Fast forward twenty some years and against my better judgement I've read DC Comics' recently released DC Showcase Presents: Metamorpho, The Element Man and I've gotta tell ya...
In my younger years, I smoked a bit of pot. If they made a Heroclix based on me, circa 1990, it would have had "Smoke Cloud" down the dial. I have hallucinated purple frogs and bowed at the waist to them because it seemed like the right thing to do at the time. I have been drug-free for years now. I now know why. I had to get my head ready to read DC Showcase Presents: Metamorpho, The Element Man.
I mean who could resist a comic in a universe where tycoons smoke phat blunts and exclaim gems like:
Certainly, not Devon Vincent Sanders. Who could resist hanging out with a dude who tells chicas to "Skip the true confessions lingo [and] strip for action!"
Did I mention that there are 558 more pages of this stuff?
Where did this guy go? He certainly wasn't hanging out with frickin' chick magnate, Black Lightning while in the pages of Batman and The Outsiders. That's for sure. DC, bring this guy back. He's interesting. His girlfriend wears go-go boots. This guy slaps Cro-Magnons silly for saying things like, "Look! It's [Metamorpho]-- making love to her! I can't stand to watch!"
Did I mention that while all of this was going on her daddy was furiously adjusting the cameras focus in order to get a better look?
Exhibitionism! Voyuerism! Tittilation...ism? My kinda comic, kiddies.
If I ever find myself in the DC Universe, God, I beg of thee, make these be the words that I utter:
Just minus holding the blunt. I've grown up.
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Crisis Counseling With Devon...2004 (Updated!)
Have you read Identity Crisis #1 yet? You should. I, like, wrote an review of it, like, a year ago.
Scip Garling of "The Absorbacon" fame says I predicted a "crisis" nearly a year ago. After reading this week's JLA #119, you tell me. The following is taken from an aticle I wrote for "Thor's Comic Column"...October 24, 2004!
[Lex] Luthor was right: a Crisis IS coming.
Let’s start with just the little things. Things that suggest that in 2005, the writers and editors are either taking characters into forbidden territory because
they know it will all soon be fixed or simply stalling, waiting for…something.
Batman’s “urban legend” exposed on TV and a total breakdown of relations between the Bat-Family and The GCPD.
Dick Grayson’s gradual mental unraveling across several titles.
The impending return of Hal Jordan.
The “Birthright” revision of Superman/Luthor’s origins, penned by Mark Waid, to be more in sync with television’s “Smallville”.
The new “any era goes” format of the Justice League book.
But those are just changes in atmosphere. For months now, there’ve been actual clues of MAJOR changes in regards to DC Comics’ superhero universe. Staring us in the face (slapping us, even!) are clues pointing toward a revamp that will allow:
Total redemption for mass murderer, Hal Jordan with an eventual return as Green Lantern.
A revivified Legion that is both more in tune with its origins and more new reader-friendly.
A DCU JLA more in tune with the animated Justice League Unlimited, with the icons at the center and every other character still “on the board”
Culminating in the perfect opportunity for an event of Crisis-like proportions, only this time keeping what works and fixing what doesn’t.
Mark my words…it’s all prefaced and foreshadowed in 1999’s Kingdom #2 and brought together by the events of by The Teen Titans/Legion Special. (Both written by one Mark Waid.)
The final page of The Kingdom #2 shows a pre-Crisis Golden Age Superman searching for a door between the universes. The Golden Age Superman wants his world back, be careful what he wishes for, he just may get it...someday.
“For all he’d done, he deserved Heaven...not prison. But now, at long last, he knows this isn’t the jail he once believed it to be. Now he knows that there’s a DOOR. There’s a door, even if he’s not going to use it. Not TODAY, anyway.”
Have you read JLA #119?
Meanwhile, 1000 years in the future (Teen Titans/Legion #1), the LSH are dislodged from reality when they confront “some other force out there... something that’s POUNDING against reality." When all’s said and done, the Teen Titans are returned a decade after they first left where we find the former Superboy is now Superman ten years on and wearing a very Kingdom Come Superman-ish costume. Could that “pounding against reality” be the Golden Age Superman wanting in to our reality? If that pounding has effected the 31st Century, could the editors have it headed for the 21st Century as well? (...we all know that as The Legion goes, so does The DC Universe i.e. Crisis or Zero Hour, anyone?)
Speaking of the “Kingdom Come Superman”, think about his ‘return’(Superman/Batman #2) with a warning for “our” Superman, “I’m you. Years from now. I’ve come to STOP you. I know you’ll THINK you’re doing the right thing --- but you’ll be WRONG. You’ll only wind up killing them all. And you’ll be all alone.” Throw-away comment by Loeb or something else?
Another “omen of the apocalypse”: the appearance of the Crime Syndicate (originally of Earth III), amongst the first victims of the Crisis. In JLA Secret Files 2004, the Crime Syndicate’s Johnny Quick is shunted a year or more into the future only to be jettisoned back, proclaiming, “It’s gone! All of it---IT”S ALL GONE! …there was NOTHING THERE! The WHOLE UNIVERSE---GONE, DESTROYED! There’s NO FUTURE---NO FUTURE AT ALL!
If you can’t believe a wild-eyed Luthor or juiced-up Johnny, how about Mr. Mxyzptlk’s visit to Superman in July’s Adventures of Superman #630 to warn him of the upcoming events of 2005? He’s stopped from telling Superman everything by “the rules”; what kind of rules could restrain Mxyzptlk from doing anything? Editorial ones, I’ll wager... In Mxyzptlk’s own words:
“HUSH! The ZERO HOUR approaches! There will be a CRISIS on Earth! Time will need Ritalin, it’s gonna be so HYPER! And a WAR, Ohhh, there will be a WAR, so SECRET that YEARS will pass before it CONCLUDES! A DARK age is coming, my friend, that shall CAST you into a NO MAN’S LAND of DESPAIR!”
Could this be the beginning of a new reality? An “entry-verse” similar to Marvel’s Ultimate Universe? One where classic characters and stories are re-imagined for new readers with little to no knowledge of DC’s vast continuity, more in the spirit of Cartoon Network’s Justice League Unlimited cartoon? One where The Legion Of Superheroes could actually make sense and be popular? Could the new Legion of Super-Heroes title be our first glimpse into this new continuity?
Am I on to something or… am I on something?
Read JLA #119.
"Thank You."
I had this big post planned for October 11th but it just never happened. I've been busy. Just been busy. There is a point to this, so please, bear with me.
October 11th was "Seven Hells!'" six-month anniversary and I just kind of let it get past me. I was going to write this big fluffy/feel-goody thing but my head just ain't there right now, y'know?
I do want to say this to everyone reading this.
"Thank You."
Thank you for reading my ramblings about a hobby that has allowed me to feed myself, figuratively and literally. Thank you for sharing your mutual appreciation for the hobby through your humor and intelligence. This blog came from a time where I was experiencing something I wouldn't wish on the devil, himself. A something I didn't have to revisit while I rambled on. Thankfully, somewhere along the line, I don't know when, I started feeling "human" again. I do know that many kindnesses along the way helped in getting me back there.
I sincerely thank you all.
So, please keep reading and I guess as long as we're all still interested, I'll keep rambling on.
Saturday, October 08, 2005
Hex Power!
Growing up I never much gave a damn about Jonah Hex. I hated Westerns and besides, he was ugly and wasn't a superhero. Besides, it took place in...like...the olden times. Back then, if it didn't have a cape, a web or a shield, to me, it didn't exist.
Why read the adventures of a some morally ambiguous guy with a gun when I could be reading an adventure with good ol' Spidey taking on The Punisher?
Fast forward nearly twenty years since the cancellation of the Jonah Hex comic and well...I've changed. I'm older. I've become less tolerant of nonsense. I want "the bullet." From what I've seen, DC Comic's November release of an all-new Jonah Hex series will give me just that.
"The Bullet."
Each issue of Jonah Hex will be designed to be a stand-alone issue featuring covers provided by some of the finest art talent the industry has to offer. The writers? Justin Gray and Jimmy Palmiotti of Hawkman and Punisher fame. These guys know a thing or two about angry men with weapons.
The DCU is a grand and wonderful place. Where else could a deformed shootist who fought on The Confederate side of The Civil War permeate into my consciousness some twenty years on? Why in THE HELL would I even look forward to this now when twenty years ago I wouldn't have given half a dang about it?!?
Because, I known it'll be done right. DC will do it right. They've already done so by doing the right thing and bringing Hex "home" to The DC Universe. Don't get me wrong, I liked the Vertigo Jonah Hex stuff. Just wasn't what I'd read on a monthly basis, is all. I like stories. I look forward to stories set in a world not yet ready for a superman. That's what I want to read. Nothing more, nothing less. Twenty years on, I want to read Jonah Hex.
Besides, we share a birthday.
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Someone Should Update This Thing...
...and I will.
Soon.
I promise.
Soon.
I promise.
Saturday, October 01, 2005
Various And Sundry
I've seen the movie Serenity twice. I am not a fan. Let me correct that. I was not a fan of Firefly, the television series on which it was based. I just never got around to watching it. There was no ire in that decision, nothing like that. I was probably just too busy.
At the comics shop I work at we get free stuff all of the time. Last week, we received a box of Serenity swag. Movie passes, well-made, well-designed baseball caps and t-shirts. Stuff that looked good whether or not one knew what is "serenity." They had my attention.
I've seen the movie Serenity twice already. Going in, knew nothing of the fight to revive the series, the stellar DVD sales or the reason behind the thrall in which Serenity writer/director Joss Whedon has over his fans. Aside from his work on Astonishing X-Men, anyways but hey, it was free. Two hours later...
I understand. Serenity is a very good movie. I will give no spoilers other than well-paced action and a welcome lack of masturbatory Industrial Light and Magic-like CGI may leave you very tired at movie's end. A good tired, though. A "Whooo! I need a cigarette." tired. Like "I've just read a damned good comic" tired. I am now a fan. They now have my money.
Besides, anything that lets me partake in the cinammon goodness that is Gina Torres is OK in my book.
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My customers have been especially...bawdy...this week. Here are some examples:
"Snatch" was the first gift [my wife] ever gave me."
One of my favorite customers, innocently, relating the first gift of DVD his wife gave him. In front of the WHOLE FRICKIN" STORE!
"You're right, Devon. I just want to enjoy the sausage."
Said to me after I likened working in a comics shop to working in a butcher shop. Trust me, no one wants to exactly know the messiness it takes to make a sausage palatable. Sorta like running a comic shop.