Monday, December 11, 2006


Ten Heroes To Liven Up Your Holiday Party: Sargon The Sorceror

It's that time of year: time for the dreaded annual Christmas Party.

Larry in "Accounts Payable" has been dying for this day. It's the one day he justify even being in the proximity of Sheila, the leggy blonde with the "pow-pows" in "Human Resources."

There he is again, smiling in her face as she laughs, nervously, eyes darting across the room, looking for someone... anyone to save her as Larry with a plate full of garlic-y finger foods in hand, re-enacting scenes from the movie "Happy Feet."

At this moment, there are no heroes.

To Larry, this moment containing finger foods and pixelated penguins is as close to dinner and a movie he'll ever get with this woman, Sheila and dammit... he's gonna savor it.

Sheila needs a hero. Enter Sargon.

Sargon The Sorceror is a hero.

At this moment, Sargon strides into the party, smelling of lavender, handing his red crushed velvet cape to the very first Black man he sees.

Sargon carefully, slowly takes measure of the room, points at Larry. Larry, with a look of terror flees, never to be seen again.

Sargon gathers his cape from the CEO, bowing gently at the waist, cocking his head, knowingly, towards the lady and in a puff of purple haze, exits.

They have all been changed. Everyone in the room resonates with the knowing.

They have all beared witness to a White man in a tuxedo and a jeweled turban...

...and his pulling it off.

They have all been witness to... absolute sartorial elegance.

I think more important is a white man pulling off a tuxedo and jeweled tuban while magically zinging crooks in the butt saying he "doesn't play favorites".
"the very first Black man he sees."

You'd think he'd bring one along, named, you know, "Jumar" or something, and wearing curly-toed slippers.
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