Monday, May 23, 2005
Number Five Of The Seven Deadly Signs Of Villainy!
Harvey Dent used to be quite the chick magnet. Formerly, a successful district attorney, Dent had his pick of Gotham's fine feminine spoils but that all changed with one vile of acid to the face. You KNOW what had to happen next...
His ass got EVIL!!!
Trust me, lack of sex makes a man mean but apparently, having FACIAL SCARS makes a man EVIL!
In The DC Universe, FACIAL SCARS make you evil, in The Marvel Universe, they make you an "anti-hero." ("cough" Cable. "cough")
Without all that fine bottom to keep him occupied, Harvey Dent turned to evil and became Two-Face. Two-Face was last seen kidnapping a LESBIAN POLICE OFFICER in a sad attempt to get some butt.
Pitiful!
Needless, to say it turned out nothing like "Chasing Amy."
Two-Face equals...
(sigh)
DUMB-ASS.
His ass got EVIL!!!
Trust me, lack of sex makes a man mean but apparently, having FACIAL SCARS makes a man EVIL!
In The DC Universe, FACIAL SCARS make you evil, in The Marvel Universe, they make you an "anti-hero." ("cough" Cable. "cough")
Without all that fine bottom to keep him occupied, Harvey Dent turned to evil and became Two-Face. Two-Face was last seen kidnapping a LESBIAN POLICE OFFICER in a sad attempt to get some butt.
Pitiful!
Needless, to say it turned out nothing like "Chasing Amy."
Two-Face equals...
(sigh)
DUMB-ASS.
Comments:
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I can see this.
But I can't think of too many scarred villains. I mean, sure, Scarface. And Mr. Szasz.
And, presumably, underneath the metal plate, Baron Blitzkreig. Wait, I'm sorry, I didn't pronounce that right: Presumably BARON BLITZKREIG! There. I seem to remember he had a dueling scar before his face went all Von Doom.
But Jonah Hex was all kinds of scarred, so much so that he had that weird bit o'flesh connecting his upper and lower jaws that, in private moments, he could use to pluck out a jaunty version of "My Darlin' Clementine." A jaw's harp, as it were.
Plus Batman's back, it has been repeatedly shown, is covered in scars. Are strictly talking facial scars, here? And, if so, what of Jonah Hex?
But I can't think of too many scarred villains. I mean, sure, Scarface. And Mr. Szasz.
And, presumably, underneath the metal plate, Baron Blitzkreig. Wait, I'm sorry, I didn't pronounce that right: Presumably BARON BLITZKREIG! There. I seem to remember he had a dueling scar before his face went all Von Doom.
But Jonah Hex was all kinds of scarred, so much so that he had that weird bit o'flesh connecting his upper and lower jaws that, in private moments, he could use to pluck out a jaunty version of "My Darlin' Clementine." A jaw's harp, as it were.
Plus Batman's back, it has been repeatedly shown, is covered in scars. Are strictly talking facial scars, here? And, if so, what of Jonah Hex?
# posted by 
: 1:53 PM
: 1:53 PM
Amended to FACIAL SCARS, Anonymous. (sigh) I know who you are.
Don't forget the forgotten Baron, Baron Bedlam. Another in Mike W. Barr's wonderful gallery of rouges.
Don't forget the forgotten Baron, Baron Bedlam. Another in Mike W. Barr's wonderful gallery of rouges.
Wasn't Jonah Hex a Confederate Soldier? The Confederacy never had my great grandfather's best interest at heart.
Hex was "one of the good ones," though.
Hex was "one of the good ones," though.
Doc Doom himself, at least in the original continuity, went batshit because his face was scarred, IIRC...
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