Thursday, August 11, 2005
Character Donations #69-73
“Seven Hells!” would like to nominate THE TEEN TITANS for donation to Marvel.
Scip of “The Absorbascon” fame’s new religion is the hate he heaps upon a Mr. Marv Wolfman. He hates all things Wolfman. He refers to “Starfire” as "the turd.” I hate him for that. She’s one of my fictional “baby’s mamas.” A man should never attack another man’s fictional “baby’s mama.” I will not give Scip the satisfaction of sending my beloved Titans over to Marvel.
I will send over Dan Jurgens’ though. How could you not?
Five Earth women were chosen for experimentation by the evil alien empire, The H’San Natall, creating five half alien/half human superheroes no one will give a dang about.
RISK: A MUTANT with super-strength, speed and stamina.
JOTO: Generates intense heat from his bare hands.
PRYSM: Controls light. (So does anyone flicking a light switch, hon.)
FRINGE: He has powers and his parents threw him off a bridge.
ARGENT: Generates silver plasma. (Baby, give up crimefighting. Crap in a bucket and make yourself rich.)
Separate, they’re outcasts, fighting nemeses like…Dark Nemisis, together they fight one another, bickering and crying, angst-ing on one another’s shoulder as X-Men often do.
Sorry, I couldn’t help myself.
Together, they suck the wind out of sails.
Together, they AREN’T The Teen Titans!