"Seven Hells!": Character Donation #46

Sunday, July 24, 2005

Character Donation #46

Marvel, I present to you...The KGBeast!

No, seriously! Hear me out! You can use this "End Of Cold War" beauty to better effect than DC Comics ever could. "Seven Hells!" is here to help.

Created in Batman #417 (1989), Anatoli Knyazev was employed as a...wait for it...a KGB assassin. Going "rogue," he attempted over ten nights, ten assassinations. In a fateful rooftop showdown with Batman, this man chose to cut off his own hand rather than face capture! Why? He had to finish the mission.

You gotta admire his "stick-to-it-iveness." I honestly do but I've gotta call it like I see it. DC doesn't. Admittedly, this character's a little outdated but you know what so's Marvel's Black Widow, a Marvel former KGB operative. Marvel, I honestly respect how you've managed to use that to the character's advantage. Insert KGBeast in The Marvel Universe and "poof" The Widow has an instant arch-nemesis!

Can you imagine the epic rooftop knife-fights these two could have?!?

*shiver*

I can.

Again, Marvel, I present to you...

The KGBeast!

# posted by Devon Sanders @ 6:41 AM

Comments:

Damn you, Devon;

I was going to "donate" him next!!!

# posted by

Scipio : 7:35 AM

Just goes to show you how hot a property The KGBeast is.

# posted by

Devon Sanders : 7:36 AM

Can we nominate potential donations? Because I'm thinking Wilddog and Agent Liberty really need to get the boot. Provided they're not already dead, anyway.

# posted by

Bill D. : 10:04 AM

Haha, KGBeast, on behalf of Marvel, I accept you with open arms! The Todd approves.

KGBeast is my new hero. Maybe Black Widow can get some help from a tech-specialist sidekick named FBEye. Or an out-of-control partner just lookin' for some revenge...CIAnimal!

# posted by

Andrew : 10:56 AM

Funny you should mention Wild Dog...

# posted by

Devon Sanders : 2:20 PM

Okay, if there WERE an FBEye and CIAnimal, that would be funny, and KGBeat would be allowed to stay just to fight them.

# posted by

Scipio : 4:49 PM

If we follow the pronunciation example of "KGBeast," "CIAnimal" would be pronounced "See-Eye-Aynimul" (long A) which sounds dangerously close to "CIAnal," which may or may not have been a movie I saw in college.

I suggest a simian version..."CIApe."

Of course, there could also be the "NRAgent" or the "NSAviator" (okay, the last one makes no sense, but at this point I'm not even sure whether there really is an NSA, or if they're just a comic book creation).

As for the character donations, I'm loving this discourse, guys. Good stuff. But why are you only trading b-listers? Surely there are some bigger guns that simply don't fit in their current universes...?

# posted by