Labels: Lady Cop

You were living in the "Age Of Devon" all along.

It's taken nearly a decade to say this but, "I was right." (See "Labels" below)

You all laughed at my love for Lady Cop. I was paraded around the comics square and asked to renounce my love for all things Liza Warner, Lady Cop and I wouldn't.

I held my head up high and continued to love my favorite VD detecting detective. I withstood the heavy sighs. The offers to make a Blackhawks comic featuring ZERO Blackhawks as my new favorite. I held fast.

I loved Liza Warner and you couldn't stop me and now, I've been vindicated as Liza Warner will be added to The CW's Arrow series.

(dances)

Will she finally find The Killer In Boots? Will we finally find out why she knows so much about venereal diseases?

Will we find out just how many venereal diseases Oliver Queen has?

Labels: Green Arrow, Lady Cop, Lady Cop Week

Sketch-A-Palooza begins and to start it of with a bang, let's start it off with one hell of a bangin' lady:

Isn't she beautiful?

That look in her eye? Confident, vigilant, regal. That, friends, is The Eye Of The Tiger.

McLeod perfectly captured the majesty that is Lady Cop, hand firmly on hip, baton in hand, lowered just so, raised just high enough to signal she'll knock your ass out.

If I lived in a perfect world, there would be a Lady Cop comic, drawn by McLeod and it would be featured on Oprah's Book Club. The Oprah-ites would be all "OOOH" and "AAAH" and bum-rush the comic book stores. Housewives would be all up in comic shops while fanboys would be hiding in corners, acting like their moms found their porn stash and stuff.

Me, I'd sell 'em the comics and smile pretty and let more women be dazzled by my wit and how handsome I am in proper lighting.

Oh, yeah! My charm, too.

I'm just sayin', is all.

Labels: Lady Cop, Sketch-A-Palooza

Last week, I spent three whole hours at Wizard World: Philly and somehow managed to walk away with no sense of smell.

Yes, you read that right. I lost my sense of smell after spending three hours in Philadelphia.

Some would view this as a blessing, not having to smell that smell only tens of thousands of fanboys can generate in one enclosed space but what I miss the most is me. I happen to smell exquisite, somewhat like freshly baked cake, actually.

You may bite me, if you like.

Don't worry because I'm not, it's already starting to come back, somewhat. I have many theories as to what could have happened.

One: This is all somehow part of God's plan to get me on Oprah.

Two: Somewhat like Marvel's Captain Britain, my power of smell is somehow tied into my proximity of my homeland. Washington, DC lashed out like a jealous woman, smacking me in the nose to get back at me for leaving her alone too long.

What did I see when I was there? Not much but some awesome things did happen while I was there.

While looking through long boxes, a fella to the right of me pulled out a copy of All-Out War #1 featuring The Viking Commando, saying this to his young son, "I've gotta pick this thing up. I read this guy's blog where this Viking guy was giving out advice."

I was that jackass telling you how to run your life. I've never been prouder.

Also while there, I checked every long box in the place looking for this:

Not a one to be found in the whole place. Oddly enough, the vendors who did have copies of First Issue Special were missing the sainted issue four.

Take that First Issue Special #11: Code Name: Assassin!

What'd I pick up while in Philly?

Labels: Lady Cop, Viking Commando

Could you all leave for a moment? I need to speak in private to... I can hardly believe I'm saying this... Ivy Town Chief of Police, Liza (Lady Cop) Warner.

God, where does one start?


I knew you were coming home with me. It was at that moment that I knew my life was changed.

I knew.

When I opened up FIS #4's pages and saw you valiantly struggling with other people's VD, while fending off would-be rapists and dockworkers.

I knew.

I knew how special you were. Hell, it even said so in the comic's title.

And yet, no one else knew.

Until yesterday.

There you were in All-New Atom #6, wearing pants.

I've never been prouder.

God, I just cant believe how far you've come. You're the new police chief of Ivy Town!

With your experience syphillis and law enforcement and from reading the previous five issues of ANA, I just know you're going to fit in just perfectly.

Chief Warner, I... I just want you to know how proud of how far you've come. You've always been destined for greater things. All it took was someone to recognize it. You're going to be OK. You're in good hands.*

All I'll ever ask of you is this: When you find find yourself looking out across the expansive reservoirs of Ivy Town's Sewage Treatment Plant, I hope you'll remember how special you are. Remembering always that you're part of The Creator's (Bob Kahnigher) vast and wonderful plan.

With love,
Devon

*Thanks, Gail!

Labels: Lady Cop

This is, perhaps, your and Lady Cop's finest moment. I ask Mike Wieringo sketches Lady Cop and we all benefit. Applying the Lady Cop jpg to your desktop is proven to protect your computer against all kinds of viruses and you against assorted V.D's.

...believe that.


*Please, don't believe that.

Labels: Lady Cop

Oh, my God!!! Could you have a better time than the one I had last night? In the dead of the night, I get this call saying to show up at The Hub City Friar's Club for the "Seven Hells!" Council of Saints" Induction Ceremony. I get there and the freakin' Crazy Quilt is working the front door! The Friar's Club knows there's comedy gold in having his crazy ass work the line. The "whupping Jason Todd's ass" jokes just kept on coming.

I walk through the Friar's Club door and the party's already in full swing. All of the guys were swarming in the middle of the ballroom, apparently the new Batwoman was there, along with Renee Montoya, Maggie Sawyer and Holly, the new Catwoman. The ladies were just eating soup and paying the guys no mind but the guys just couldn't take their eyes off of them.

Power Girl walked in in a white low-cut number. Obsidian basking in his new gay, kept asking her who she was wearing. He then proceeded to squeeze her left breast like Issac Mizhari did to Scarlett Johansson. Alan Scott may be mourning two children soon if Obsidian doesn't wake from his coma. Damage and The Human Bomb upon seeing PG in her dress both simultaneously exploded. Crazy Quilt and Doctor Midnight kept asking what happened.

The ceremony began soon after Jay Garrick and Superman rebuilt the hall. Anyway, up on the podium were the night's inductees Hawkman, Lady Cop and Kyle Rayner. Wildcat couldn't be there as he'd already commited to taking Ma Hunkel out to dinner weeks before. Mr. Terrific read a nice note from Wildcat, thanking us for thinking of him.

Geoff Johns was there to induct Hawkman into The Council of Saints. Before Johns could say a word, Hawkman picks up his mace and proceeds to trash the stage! You know what he did next?!? Walked off the f*****' stage without saying... a... word! He is such a rock star!!!!

Next up was Liza Warner, Lady Cop. Renee Montoya had the honor of inducting her. She spoke about how Liza had been an inspiration to her... blah blah blah... she was speaking lesbian. Lady Cop stood up (She's smaller than I thought, I'd say on a good day she might be 5'5") and delivered a rousing lecture on VD prevention, all the while, keeping her eyes locked on Kyle Rayner. Every woman in that room gave her a standing ovation.

Lady Cop somehow managed to bump her head while standing still.

Next up was my boy Kyle Rayner, there were no Green Lanterns there to induct him so he had to induct himself. Kyle was a little drunk and started off by telling us the story of "Chicken Little." Just as Batman was about to pull Kyle off the stage, out of nowhere, Kyle grew some balls and shoved The Batman! Kyle walked back to the podium, got really quiet and thanked everyone for the opportunity to learn from them, to fight for something greater than himself. Superman began to clap and everyone else followed suit. Kyle just kind of smiled and walked off the stage. Power Girl went to hug him. His balls are healing nicely.

Blue Devil ended the night with a prayer and Ambush Bug brought the house down, wheeling out the stuffed corpse of Jonah Hex.

A fun night was had by all.

Labels: Hawkman, Kyle Rayner, Lady Cop

I've noticed alot of bloggers have them. Some cotton to a Green Lantern prone to massive head traumas. Some have an obsessive love for little boy sidekicks.

What I'm taliking about is a character we've all sort of adopted as the ultimate expression of our respective blogs' "mission statement." Our own personal "patron saints," so to speak. So today, I am asking you, the blogosphere, to help me do something long overdue:

Canonize characters into "Seven Hells!" Council of Saints. Starting with...

Hawkman: This blog is named for Hawkman's favorite expression, "Seven Hells!" Hawkman has no superpowers, often goes shirtless and carries a mace for the sole purpose of hitting people over the head. What's not to love?

Wildcat: He's old enough to know better but does it anyway, he's Wildcat! He wonders aloud where his next handful of ass is gonna come from, he's Wildcat! He gets drunk and sings too loud, he's Wildcat! He'll punch you in the eye, he's Wildcaaaaaaaat!

Lady Cop: Possessing a feminist sensibility and a thick skull along with an extensive knowledge of venereal diseases, Lady Cop recently had her own frickin' week devoted to her here on "Seven Hells!" I haven't been the same since.

Kyle Rayner: A good heart and a dim wit gets you a long way here on "Seven Hells!" Kyle's featured here every Wednesday showcasing an astounding case of the "self-awares,"and an innate ability to watch those he loves get killed and watch himself come out smelling like a rose.

There can be only one. Vote and vote often.

Labels: Hawkman, Kyle Rayner, Lady Cop, Wildcat