Labels: Lady Cop Week

Labels: Lady Cop Week

Labels: Lady Cop Week

Labels: Lady Cop Week

Over at BIGMONKEYCOMICS.com, we scooped the big boys and broke the story that DC has decided to beat swords into ploghshares. As of issue 50, Aquaman: Sword of Atlantis will become Aquaman. How novel. It will be written by science fiction/comic scribe Tad Williams.

Feel free to read the interview as it is really good, offering major insight into many things Aquaman.








...and if you've been reading "Seven Hells!" lately you might have noticed that a certain somebody stopped by and dropped a bombshell on her way out the door.

Something "Lady Cop" may be happening in The All-New Atom #6.

Will she joining the cast? Will she be just be mentioned? I have no idea but all I can say is this:

Any Lady Cop is good Lady Cop.

So to celebrate, as of today, I'm starting the "Countdown To The All-New Atom #6." Everyday I will leave you with fabulous facts you might not have known about Liza Warner, Lady Cop.

Lady Cop Fact No. 1: Liza Warner's billy club was, at one point, The Spear of Destiny.

Picture it. The year is 1975 and America is giddy with possibility as Angie Dickinson returns to series television hot on the heels of her cinematic triumph, Big Bad Mama.

The next year will see the debut of Charlie's Angels, the way we view blondes holding guns at t*t level would never be the same again. Sensing a void in the comics field...

Enter comics visionary "Crazy" Robert Kanigher with the now infamous 1st Issue Special #4 featuring Lady Cop, a comic so wonderfully "slow", you just want to build a movie around it, have it ride the bench, score the winning goal and vote it Homecoming King, thick glasses and all...

Self-preservation is a mother as young Liza Warner cowers under the bed, helpless, watching as her roommates are "droppin' one-by-one--like cards!" Victims both of the nefarious and color-blind "Killer In Boots." When the police arrive, as Liza recounts the tale, one particular cop notes that she has "the camera eye of a born officer." That and she's already experienced at undercover work. Get it? She was under the bed, hiding? "Under cover...?"
To hell with it. Anyway, driven to find her roommates' killer, our Liza enrolls in the police academy where knowledge such as this is imparted upon the recruits...

Labels: Lady Cop Week

Sketch-A-Palooza begins and to start it of with a bang, let's start it off with one hell of a bangin' lady:

Isn't she beautiful?

That look in her eye? Confident, vigilant, regal. That, friends, is The Eye Of The Tiger.

McLeod perfectly captured the majesty that is Lady Cop, hand firmly on hip, baton in hand, lowered just so, raised just high enough to signal she'll knock your ass out.

If I lived in a perfect world, there would be a Lady Cop comic, drawn by McLeod and it would be featured on Oprah's Book Club. The Oprah-ites would be all "OOOH" and "AAAH" and bum-rush the comic book stores. Housewives would be all up in comic shops while fanboys would be hiding in corners, acting like their moms found their porn stash and stuff.

Me, I'd sell 'em the comics and smile pretty and let more women be dazzled by my wit and how handsome I am in proper lighting.

Oh, yeah! My charm, too.

I'm just sayin', is all.

Labels: Lady Cop, Sketch-A-Palooza

Oh, my God!!! Could you have a better time than the one I had last night? In the dead of the night, I get this call saying to show up at The Hub City Friar's Club for the "Seven Hells!" Council of Saints" Induction Ceremony. I get there and the freakin' Crazy Quilt is working the front door! The Friar's Club knows there's comedy gold in having his crazy ass work the line. The "whupping Jason Todd's ass" jokes just kept on coming.

I walk through the Friar's Club door and the party's already in full swing. All of the guys were swarming in the middle of the ballroom, apparently the new Batwoman was there, along with Renee Montoya, Maggie Sawyer and Holly, the new Catwoman. The ladies were just eating soup and paying the guys no mind but the guys just couldn't take their eyes off of them.

Power Girl walked in in a white low-cut number. Obsidian basking in his new gay, kept asking her who she was wearing. He then proceeded to squeeze her left breast like Issac Mizhari did to Scarlett Johansson. Alan Scott may be mourning two children soon if Obsidian doesn't wake from his coma. Damage and The Human Bomb upon seeing PG in her dress both simultaneously exploded. Crazy Quilt and Doctor Midnight kept asking what happened.

The ceremony began soon after Jay Garrick and Superman rebuilt the hall. Anyway, up on the podium were the night's inductees Hawkman, Lady Cop and Kyle Rayner. Wildcat couldn't be there as he'd already commited to taking Ma Hunkel out to dinner weeks before. Mr. Terrific read a nice note from Wildcat, thanking us for thinking of him.

Geoff Johns was there to induct Hawkman into The Council of Saints. Before Johns could say a word, Hawkman picks up his mace and proceeds to trash the stage! You know what he did next?!? Walked off the f*****' stage without saying... a... word! He is such a rock star!!!!

Next up was Liza Warner, Lady Cop. Renee Montoya had the honor of inducting her. She spoke about how Liza had been an inspiration to her... blah blah blah... she was speaking lesbian. Lady Cop stood up (She's smaller than I thought, I'd say on a good day she might be 5'5") and delivered a rousing lecture on VD prevention, all the while, keeping her eyes locked on Kyle Rayner. Every woman in that room gave her a standing ovation.

Lady Cop somehow managed to bump her head while standing still.

Next up was my boy Kyle Rayner, there were no Green Lanterns there to induct him so he had to induct himself. Kyle was a little drunk and started off by telling us the story of "Chicken Little." Just as Batman was about to pull Kyle off the stage, out of nowhere, Kyle grew some balls and shoved The Batman! Kyle walked back to the podium, got really quiet and thanked everyone for the opportunity to learn from them, to fight for something greater than himself. Superman began to clap and everyone else followed suit. Kyle just kind of smiled and walked off the stage. Power Girl went to hug him. His balls are healing nicely.

Blue Devil ended the night with a prayer and Ambush Bug brought the house down, wheeling out the stuffed corpse of Jonah Hex.

A fun night was had by all.

Labels: Hawkman, Kyle Rayner, Lady Cop

You were living in the "Age Of Devon" all along.

It's taken nearly a decade to say this but, "I was right." (See "Labels" below)

You all laughed at my love for Lady Cop. I was paraded around the comics square and asked to renounce my love for all things Liza Warner, Lady Cop and I wouldn't.

I held my head up high and continued to love my favorite VD detecting detective. I withstood the heavy sighs. The offers to make a Blackhawks comic featuring ZERO Blackhawks as my new favorite. I held fast.

I loved Liza Warner and you couldn't stop me and now, I've been vindicated as Liza Warner will be added to The CW's Arrow series.

(dances)

Will she finally find The Killer In Boots? Will we finally find out why she knows so much about venereal diseases?

Will we find out just how many venereal diseases Oliver Queen has?

Labels: Green Arrow, Lady Cop, Lady Cop Week

Just... God... What the %#@, man? Why in the world would you take Bart Allen, the missing link between Binky and Barry Allen, a character, if given time, SHOULD have become the greatest Flash of them all and jump the shark by turning him into a morose, whiny little a-hole. Hopefully, new Flash writer Marc Guggenheim can bring Bart back from the mess someone else created for him.


I expected to like the Dave (Stray Bullets) Lapham Spectre stuff (I don't) but out of nowhere comes Brian Azzarello knockin' me on my ass by pulling out his old issues of "Who's Who," and using Dr. Thirteen, Capt. Fear, Anthro, The Primate Patrol, The Haunted Tank & Genius Jones in a successful attempt to f*** my brain.


I have an admission to make. The day before Gail Simone re-introduced Lady Cop to The DCU. I shit you not, I lost sleep.

I lost sleep.



These are, coincidentally, the words I expect to hear from Scip on the day that he kills me.


So what do you do when you lose your main character (Black Canary) in Birds of Prey to Justice League of America? You change the team dynamic, making it better by utilizing a rotating cast of characters. She also, along with Robin writer Adam Beechen, seemed to be the only writer to truly embrace the "One Year Later" concept as a chance to build something special.

Lady Cop aside, All-New Atom has, after only six issues, become one of my "first reads."

Villains United Infinite Crisis Special and Secret Six easily proved to be some of the finest super (hero) villain writing DC published all year.

Her books showed up on time.

Honorable Mention: Jimmy Palmiotti & Justin Gray

Honestly, I thought Battle For Bludhaven was shit but from shit something beautiful can grow. Uncle Sam & The Freedom Fighters has been beautiful.



The Outsiders.

This is, perhaps, your and Lady Cop's finest moment. I ask Mike Wieringo sketches Lady Cop and we all benefit. Applying the Lady Cop jpg to your desktop is proven to protect your computer against all kinds of viruses and you against assorted V.D's.

...believe that.


*Please, don't believe that.

Labels: Lady Cop

I've been thinking about doing this for a while now.

I'm done here.

"Seven Hells!" is done.

I really can't think of anything more that I can do here.

This blog has been limping along for the better part of 8 months and with everything it had meant to me, it deserves better.

When I first started this blog, I was in a very confused place. Exactly six months to the day of my mom's death and one day out of a break-up. Not the best of circumstances to start something that would eventually be known as "funny." With not the best head on my shoulders, I went out there and tried to hold onto something that had always been good to me:

Comics.

Comics helped me learn to read. Comics helped me learn to write. Comics helped me learn to draw. Comics taught me about character. Comics took me to places I never could have imagined. Comics taught me to overcome fear. Comics showed me wonder. Comics gave me quiet when I needed it the most.

For this I am forever grateful.

The reasons for the lack of activity are many and I'm only willing to touch upon a few:

Time: I don't think anyone knew just how much time went into my making a post here. I would literally spend hours, if not days, working on a post, working it in draft form until it sounded like "Devon" or "Kyle Rayner" or "Lady Cop" and Lord, don't even get me started on those Viking Commando things. Lately, I just don't have that sort of time anymore.

My priorities have changed. Somewhere along the line, I grew up a bit and the world I'd created on the internet seemed a bit small to me. I hate to say it like this but I realized I was creating worlds and not being paid for it. My bank account bore this out. Decisions were made, some by myself, some by others, that forced me to grow up, fast.

These decisions took me out of a place where writing advice from a fictitious Norseman owned by a major media conglomerate and not myself seemed sort of trivial.

The other reason for the closing:

There's a lot of pain here. I can go back and look at the dates I wrote certain things and know what type of shape I was in, good or bad. The bad hurts a little bit too much to look back on, some days.

Do not get me wrong, there is freaking gold in a lot of this stuff and I can look back and go, "That kid was alright," but really it's too much like staring backwards at this point in my life.

I'm happy. I can say that and for the first time in my life, I know it to be true and I know that it won't leave me.

Writing this blog brought me, at times, immeasurable joy.

YOU played a huge part in this. To those who visited I say a simple "thank you." Your continued visits and comments were invaluable in keeping me going in more facets of my life than I could ever truly express. I wish I could express the joy I felt when I put a post out there, unsure of how it would be received and the comments would come. You all let me know we were doing something special here.

To the comics pros who took time to visit and comment, "Thank you SO much!" You have no idea what it felt like to see your names associated anywhere near mine.

Special thanks to Kurt Busiek for going as far as making me a character in the DC Universe.

Special thanks to Gail Simone for giving Lady Cop a true home, where she belonged, The DC Universe.

To my fellow bloggers, thanks for inspiring me. Thanks for giving even more reasons to love this medium as much as I do.

To Sean Fahey, a "thank you" for asking me a simple question, one I hope to continue to answering nearly six years on, "Yes, I can write." My mom went away knowing I was writing again. That meant more to her than you could ever know.

So, thank you all.

Thank you for putting up with me while I tried to figure it all out. The archives will stay up and if you ever want to find me.

"Seven Hells!" like any good thing, is come to an end.

Labels: Seven Hells

Labels: Lady Cop

Funniest comic book-related thing I've heard all week: "God! The next issue of _________ is gonna be excruciating. It's painful to watch a guy write a character who's smarter than him."

Any guesses who said writer may be.

Lady Cop Fact No. 3: How did Bart Allen, the current Flash, come back from the future a man? The specifics are murky but he somehow saw Lady Cop naked.

52 happens in real time, right? If I'm celebrating Halloween, shouldn't the inhabitants of 52 be doing so, as well.

Back from Baltimore Comicon and I think I just may have had the best time I'd ever had there. The highlights...

Standing in line for a sketch from Mike Wieringo (who, by the way, is built like a strong safety), I plop down a copy of 1st Issue Special #4. He picks it up, almost incredulously, saying, "Lady Cop? DC published this?!?" It was the sound of nigh-perfect incredulity. I went on to explain Liza Warner, Lady Cop's origin, her quest to find The Killer In Boots, her quest to find a Latin girl with VD. I believe I saw bits of his brain bleed from his mouth. The sketch, a thing of beauty, by the way.

J.G. Jones was doing a Batgirl sketch near convention's end and it was gorgeous! Believe it or not, he said it was the first time he'd ever drawn her. With the upcoming release of All-Star Batgirl, the character's in good, good hands.

I was within earshot of artist Phil Noto and heard him say that we could defintely look for more Jonah Hex work from him in the future.

Stopped by the DC Comics booth and a friend of mine showed me an advance copy of Vertigo's upcomig Pride of Baghdad. It's beautifully, beautifully drawn and just may be the best thing Brian K. Vaughan has written. The book's ending still haunts me a day later.

Bill Willingham was there and was incredibly nice. I got him to do a sketch of Fables' Snow White. We talked about Fables, Robin, Shadowpact and The Elementals. For those who don't know, Willingham created the previously mentioned Elementals, an independent superhero comic, in the mid-eighties. He joked it took him only twenty years to become an overnight sensation.

Newly DC exclusive Jimmy Palmiotti was there, as well. I noted that, lately, I'd seen less inking work from him. He said he's scaling back on the inking to focus work on his writing. He'll still be inking Amanda Conner's Terra mini-series. I asked him if we'd ever see charcater like Ra's al Ghul or Vandal Savage pop up in Jonah Hex and he says DC would rather that he not use too many "DC Universe" characters. He did tell me of one story he'd proposed that DC rejected: Jonah rides into a new town and meets up with a woman whose husband blames her for not being able to conceive a male heir (her husband actually had the problem), Jonah steps in and solves the problem, giving the fella a male heir. The family eventually moved on, relocating to a new city. The family's last name?

Dent.

As in Harvey (Two-Face) Dent.

Brilliant.

Next, I stood in line, shaking in anticipation. He was here. And he was singing to me. Yes, Howard Chaykin sang me a song and I admit I was a bit put-off and flattered at the same time. Did Howard not know that he didn't have to try so hard? Howard, you had me at The Galactic Space Vagina. I was yours all along.

Thanks to Baltimore Comicon creator and coordinator Marc Nathan for consistently putting together a well-run and more importantly, fun convention.

I've noticed alot of bloggers have them. Some cotton to a Green Lantern prone to massive head traumas. Some have an obsessive love for little boy sidekicks.

What I'm taliking about is a character we've all sort of adopted as the ultimate expression of our respective blogs' "mission statement." Our own personal "patron saints," so to speak. So today, I am asking you, the blogosphere, to help me do something long overdue:

Canonize characters into "Seven Hells!" Council of Saints. Starting with...

Hawkman: This blog is named for Hawkman's favorite expression, "Seven Hells!" Hawkman has no superpowers, often goes shirtless and carries a mace for the sole purpose of hitting people over the head. What's not to love?

Wildcat: He's old enough to know better but does it anyway, he's Wildcat! He wonders aloud where his next handful of ass is gonna come from, he's Wildcat! He gets drunk and sings too loud, he's Wildcat! He'll punch you in the eye, he's Wildcaaaaaaaat!

Lady Cop: Possessing a feminist sensibility and a thick skull along with an extensive knowledge of venereal diseases, Lady Cop recently had her own frickin' week devoted to her here on "Seven Hells!" I haven't been the same since.

Kyle Rayner: A good heart and a dim wit gets you a long way here on "Seven Hells!" Kyle's featured here every Wednesday showcasing an astounding case of the "self-awares,"and an innate ability to watch those he loves get killed and watch himself come out smelling like a rose.

There can be only one. Vote and vote often.

Labels: Hawkman, Kyle Rayner, Lady Cop, Wildcat

The phone rings.

"Have you read all of your comics?" asked Scip.

"Not all of them. Halle, go back to sleep." said I.

"Have you read this week's Action Comics #835?"

"Not yet."

"You're a character in the DC Universe. Take a look at page four."

I leap over the Oscar winner and smooth away the previous day's $100 bills cluttering this week's comics and there it is...


So's Scip!

Thank you, Kurt Busiek, you magnificent man for bringing the inevitable Brave and The Bold Devon/Lady Cop team-up issue just that much closer to reality.

Labels: Shameless Self Promotion

Let me get this out of the way: I love Prez to death. He's just one of those characters that if DC Comics lost their minds and allowed it, I'd write him for 34 cents and a handful of Jolly Ranchers. So imagine my surprise that while attending last month's Baltimore Comicon I came across...


This comic's cover also has a blonde in satin hip-hugger hot pants and a cape. You need nothing more.




Prez Rickard, Teen President is out meeting the people at a supermarket and promising to keep the price of a hot dog low.

It was the 70's, y'know. You simply had to keep the price of a hot dog low.

Can you handle Vandyre University student a hip-huggers wearing Linda Lee sneaking out of the TV room...



Apparently, Supergirl's X-Ray Vision can see through a TV screen and not just see tubes and rat droppings but can also somehow, make out a gun hidden up a guy's sleeve who happens to be miles away. The redhead can hardly believe it her damned self, either. After Supergirl saves Prez from an assassin's bullet, you know what time it is...




You know after reading this and First Issue Special #4 featuring Lady Cop, I am convinced that in the 70's the appearance of a small Black child was shorthand for "Dyno-mite! That White guy's alright."

That and I'm also 100% certain that Vince Colletta inked the 70's. Did Vince ever turn down an inking assignment?








Y'know, if I knew that my freedom were coming to an end and knowing the last thing I was going to see for a while were a jail cell's bars, I think I'd the time out to look back, reflect on the past and cop one last peek at Supergirl's boobs on the way out, too.

Labels: Prez, Supergirl