Tuesday, June 26, 2007


Big Monkey Podcast Is Techno-Active!

The third Big Monkey Podcast is now LIVE!

Highlights of the podcast include a discussions on The Legion of Super-Heroes, the relevancy of The X-Men in today's comic book marketplace and HeroClix!

In this podcast... I AM THE DOG OF WAR!


Monday, June 25, 2007


The World's Greatest Detectives In: Case Closed

Taken from Robin #163.

Special thanks to James (Yes, My Real Name Is) Rambo for the Photoshop help.

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Friday, June 22, 2007


19 Questions & 1 Statement

1. After reading this month's Action Comics, Supergirl, Supergirl and The Legion of Super Heroes, this month's Brave and The Bold and the solicits for September's Teen Titans, can we agree that Supergirl has replaced Jesse Quick is "The Most Ubiquitous Woman Alive?" (Brave and The Bold #4)

2. When did Donna Troy become... competent and dare I say... kinda kick-ass? (Countdown #45)

3. Who in their right mind knew Egg Fu could become one of DC Comics' creepiest of characters? (Checkmate #15)

4. Who would win a contest of creepiness: Egg Fu or Marvel's MODOK?

5. With the return of Egg Fu and the return prominence of Giganta, Ares, The Cheetah, Circe & Dr. Psycho, can we all agree that Wonder Woman finally has a Rogue's Gallery worthy of her stature in the DCU?

6. Doesn't this just make you all giddy that Gail Simone is going to be able to tap into that on a monthly basis?

7. How does Adam Beechen keep coming up with newer ways to make Tim Drake cooler on a month-to-month basis? (Robin #163)

8. What the...? (Justice League of America #10)

What the... ?!?

10. WHAT THE F...?!?!?!?!?!?!?

11. All of this "Lightning Saga" craziness was to get him back?!?

12. On the last panel of this week's Justice League of America, whose face is that in the lightning rod?

13. Looks to me like, maybe, New Earth got the wrong Flash and Earth-One got the right one, huh?

14. Can we send Linda Park and the twins back?

15. So does this mean that Batman won't be disappointed for too long in The Flash's return?

16. I mean, how can one have an All-Flash #1 without Barry Allen?

17. If the ending to The Flash: The Fastest Man Alive #13 is true, the death of Bart Allen is one of DC Comics' greatest blunders ever. (The Flash: The Fastest Man Alive #13)

18. Huh. Was that Bart eulogizing himself on the last page of The Flash: The Fastest Man Alive #13?

19. Is that some kind of clue?

20. With Catwoman fighting crazy ex-Soviet super-villains and other insanities, why the HELL aren't you reading Catwoman?


Thursday, June 21, 2007


The Viking Commando, Lady Cop & My Nose Vs. Philadelphia

Last week, I spent three whole hours at Wizard World: Philly and somehow managed to walk away with no sense of smell.

Yes, you read that right. I lost my sense of smell after spending three hours in Philadelphia.

Some would view this as a blessing, not having to smell that smell only tens of thousands of fanboys can generate in one enclosed space but what I miss the most is me. I happen to smell exquisite, somewhat like freshly baked cake, actually.

You may bite me, if you like.

Don't worry because I'm not, it's already starting to come back, somewhat. I have many theories as to what could have happened.

One: This is all somehow part of God's plan to get me on Oprah.

Two: Somewhat like Marvel's Captain Britain, my power of smell is somehow tied into my proximity of my homeland. Washington, DC lashed out like a jealous woman, smacking me in the nose to get back at me for leaving her alone too long.

What did I see when I was there? Not much but some awesome things did happen while I was there.

While looking through long boxes, a fella to the right of me pulled out a copy of All-Out War #1 featuring The Viking Commando, saying this to his young son, "I've gotta pick this thing up. I read this guy's blog where this Viking guy was giving out advice."

I was that jackass telling you how to run your life. I've never been prouder.

Also while there, I checked every long box in the place looking for this:

Not a one to be found in the whole place. Oddly enough, the vendors who did have copies of First Issue Special were missing the sainted issue four.

Take that First Issue Special #11: Code Name: Assassin!

What'd I pick up while in Philly?

The infamous Supergirl "cannon/c*ck & b*lls" Adventure Comics cover.

Because, yes, I will actually be a twelve year old boy all my life.

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Tuesday, June 19, 2007


Black Manta Presents... Rainy Days Can Be Fun!

Taken from the back cover of Aquaman Vol. 1 Aug. 1965, Issue 22.


Friday, June 15, 2007


16 Questions & 1 Statement

1. Wasn't Aquaman's handling of Black Manta absloutely the thing that makes comics worth reading? (Justice #12)

2. Or was it the scene where The Justice League is assembled over Paradise Island and there's Aquaman simply holding his son?

3. Or was it the Joker scene?

4. Has Wonder Woman ever looked more beautiful than when she looked at her worst?

5. "Super Friends?!?"

6. I don't know about you but I wouldn't mind seeing Jim Krueger do some more Justice League.

7. Maybe even the Justice League of America monthly?

8. So, will we ever actually see John Stewart, Hal Jordan or Kyle Rayner in Green Lantern Corps? (Green Lantern Corps #13)

9. Where is Kyle Rayner anyway?

10. If I get a pet, would it be animal cruelty to name it "Kid Amazo?" (JLA Classified #39)

11. Come on, Deathstroke! Did you really have to shove the sword down her frickin' throat?!? (Green Arrow #75)

12. Can I take this to mean that Geo-Force isn't in The Justice League?

13. Why do I even care?

14. How long do you think it'll take before Forerunner goes the way of Waverider? (Countdown #46)

15. You know things are getting interesting when Jason Todd & Donna Troy are the ones making the most sense in the DC Universe, right?

16. Were you as disturbed, as I was, by that... thing... Black Mary fought in this week's Countdown?

17. Why was Holly from Catwoman just hanging out in front of a porn director's brownstone?


Wednesday, June 13, 2007


"Forgotten" Heroes

Ah, the comics of my mis-spent youth. In the mid-Eighties, DC Comics could get me to pick up nearly anything with an Eduardo Barretto cover.

I remember seeing the cover to DC Comics Presents #77, not knowing any of the characters on the cover (other than Superman, of course) but instantly falling in love with the leggy platinum blonde in the Daisy Dukes, the monkey and Aquaman's ugly dressin' cousin to the right of Superman. How could one not? They were after all rendered with grace by the sainted Barretto. From this cover and the story contained within, I learned about eight supposedly "forgotten" heroes:

Animal Man, Dane Dorrance, Dolphin, Rip Hunter, Cave Carson, Congorilla, The Immortal Man and Rick Flag.

With puberty some twenty years behind me, I thought we'd take a look at the status of The Forgotten Heroes:

Animal Man: 19 years ago, Animal Man was re-re-introduced to comic fans with a new series written by Grant Morrison. Morrison wrote the first 26 issues with critical and commercial success. Animal Man even went on to briefly join The Justice League. Animal Man is also one of the few DC Comics characters with the ability to cross between the DC and Vertigo universes. Animal Man was last seen playing a key role in DC weekly maxiseries, 52 and is also slated to be one of the main characters in the upcoming Countdown To Adventure mini-series.

Dolphin: After meeting Aquaman in the pages of his monthly, Dolphin had a brief romance with The Sea King. Later, Aquaman's former sidekick, Tempest, the former Aqualad, met and fell in love with and married her. They've since had a child and after an attack on Atlantis by The Spectre, her and the child have gone missing.

Rip Hunter: After aiding the bringing about of The Multiverse, Rip Hunter is due to play a major role in the upcoming Booster Gold series.

Dane Dorrance: After re-forming The Sea Devils, Dorrance has recently been seen in the pages of Aquaman.

Immortal Man: Killed during The Crisis On Infinite Earths, Immortal Man hasn't been seen since. Although, let's be real, wasn't Ressurection Man basically an Immortal Man series?

Rick Flag: Flag went on to head-up The Suicide Squad and after dying and not dying again, he's re-formed The Suicide Squad and is due to star in a new Suicide Squad mini-series.

Cave Carson: Recently seen in the pages of JSA helping rescue Sand from the earth's crust.

Congorilla: Formerly known as Congo Bill and once was the star of his own movie serial, he is also one of DC Comics' oldest heroes. He was later merged with a giant mystical golden gorilla and as we all know, nothing says DC Comics like a giant mystical golden gorilla. Since his stint in The Forgotten Heroes, Congorilla has starred in two Vertigo mini-series.

For a bunch of Forgotten Heroes, not too bad, huh?

So, my question to you is this:

"Which DC Universe characters deserve to be "forgotten?"

Monday, June 11, 2007


And Now, A Word From Our Sponsor...

Very special thanks to James Rambo for putting this together.


Thursday, June 07, 2007


16 Questions And 1 Statement

1. Does anyone hate Lois' hair in Superman as much as I do? (Superman #663)

2. Did you notice Amethyst, Princess of Gemworld in The Oblivion Bar in this week's Superman?

3. Isn't great to have the actual creative team back on Superman?

4. Are there any members of The Justice League who didn't meet when they were kids? (Detective Comics #833)

5. Wow! Was that or was that not how you write a damned comic book?!? (Detective Comics #833)

6. Know what made this week's All New Atom #12 so damned cool?

7. Was it the return of The Bug-Eyed Bandit?

8. Was it the return of a long-lost foe of The Atom's teaming up with The All New Atom in order to find Ray Palmer?

9. No. Lady Cop. Then again, I am kinda biased.

10. How cool was it that Supergirl writer Joe Kelly actually found a use for one of Donna Troy's many existences? (Supergirl #18)

11. Couldn't Jonah Hex's title be renamed Jonah Hex, Total Bad-Ass? (Jonah Hex #20)

12. After everything she's gone through in Checkmate, aren't you looking forward to the scene where Fire meets Ice, all over again? (Birds of Prey #107)

13. After everything he's gone through in Green Lantern Corps, aren't you looking forward to the scene where Guy Gardner meets Ice, all over again?

14. Won't it be sad when Ice finds out about Blue Beetle, Rocket Red, Booster Gold, Max Lord, Mister Miracle, Elongated Man & Sue Dibney?

15. So, can we call her "Black Mary" now? (Countdown #47)

16. Isn't it interesting that the ones The Monitors say are "the source of the virus" (Kyle Rayner, Donna Troy & Jason Todd) aren't refered to by their codenames anymore? (Countdown #47)

17. Really, is anyone shocked that Kyle Rayner is the source of a virus?


Wednesday, June 06, 2007


My Stupid Mouth

The other day, I kept looking at Chris Batista's Nightwing, wondering why it seemed so oddly familiar.

Then, it came to me...

Nightwing, like John Mayer, hasn't been all that great, either.


Tuesday, June 05, 2007


15 Questions And 1 Statement

1. Does anything say "brotherly love" more than kicking each other in the crotch? (Teen Titans #47)

2. Is it me or has Donna Troy become somewhat tolerable lately? (Teen Titans #47 & Amazons Attack #2)

3. Is it me or does JSofA artist Dale Eaglesham draw Superman extremely handsome? (Justice Society of America #6)

4. The mullet's from a different Earth? (Action Comics #850)

5. So,what does it mean for the universe when a god dies? (Countdown #48)

6. Wasn't Black Lightning's (a school teacher) offering to tutor Damage one of the things that makes The JSofA end of things the more entertaining of this JLofA/JSofA crossover? (Justice Society of America #6)

7.. How do you make Sportsmaster boring? (JSA Classified #26)

8. Weren't you glad to see an Amazon finally call Hippolyta on her s*&$%? (Amazons Attack #2)

9. Isn't it refreshing to see Justice Leaguers, Hawkgirl and Superman, refer to each other by their codenames? (Hawkgirl #64)

10. Could anyone unapologetically enjoy being a male anymore than Hal Jordan? (Green Lantern #20)

11. You do know that that logo The Flash is "resting" upon is Barry Allen's, don't you?

12. I'm really starting to warm up to the new Blue Beetle title. (Blue Beetle #15)

13. *sigh* Can we keep Chris Batista's art on Teen Titans for a little while longer? (Teen Titans #47)

14. If not, and the rumors are true, can he go to the other Titans title?

15. Isn't Batman and Superman's agreeing on a plan of action pretty much shorthand for "This conversation's done?" (Amazons Attack #2)

16. How true to form is it that Hawkman's last words in Hawkgirl #64 are "son of a bitch?"


Saturday, June 02, 2007


What Is It?: Updated

Funny is what it is.

It's The Bugle's Daily Planet.

I'll be helping out, writing, every once in a while. Check it out and let 'em know what you think.


Friday, June 01, 2007


My Favorite Moments Featuring Bart Allen

I've been often been asked (twice) why "Seven Hells!" on DC Comics so much. The answer is always the same: I can write about almost anything but really, what's better than writing about something you care about?

I have simply and deliberately come to care about the characters. Unlike other characters in other universes, the denizens of the DCU are effected by the worlds they occupy. Theirs is a world comprised of absolutes. At any given time, a glance at these characters will reveal absolute joy, absolute heroism and the case of one Bart Allen, the former Impulse, absolute heartbreak.

I have found no greater heartbreaking comic book moment than in Impulse #9.

To understand why this particular comic affected me the way it does, you have to know this particular character's origins.

Bart Allen was born in the future. A future that included a mother and grandmother who loved him dearly. The grandson of Barry Allen, Bart was born with a hyper-active metabolism that aged him so much that at the age of two, he appeared to be twelve years old. To keep his body & mind under control, his family placed him in a virtual world that kept up with his distorted sense of time. Bart Allen, when you get down to it, was a child with very special needs.

When these needs weren't being met within this virtual world, his grandmother, Iris Allen did the only thing she could think of: she sent him to the past where the only person who could help him was.

The Flash of the latter 20th Century, her nephew, Wally West. Overcome with sensory overload, Bart Allen entered The DC Universe absolutely out-of-control. Wally West, the only person able to keep up with this baby trapped in a teenager's body, did the only thing he could think of and hypershocked his cousin's metabolism into what passes as normal for a tweve year old super-speedster.

Now, you would think this would be where, Wally West, the former Kid Flash to Barry's Flash, the only one close to Bart's age who could sympathize with Bart's unique predicament, would take him under his wing.


Wally couldn't deal with the responsibilites involved in raising his only cousin and sent him off to live with a family friend, the retired Golden Age speedster, Max Mercury.

Soon, they found themselves in Manchester, Alabama, about as far away from anything Bart could have possibly perceived as normal.

Enter from the future, fellow speedster and more importantly, cousin fellow teenager, Jenni Ognats, XS.

Finally, Bart had someone his age who knew what it was to have to slow down for a world that crawled where he was inclined to sprint. The funny thing about Jenni was that while in the past all she ever wanted to do was slow down and take things in.

Despite that, Bart comes to the realization that he isn't as alone in this world as he'd once thought.

Bart finally finds kinship in someone who understands the rush involved in being an Allen.

And as quickly as the belonging comes, lonliness revisits at super-speed.

Bart, alone again, does for his cousin the one thing he can't quite ever seem to do for himself: he collects his thoughts, writing them down in a letter.

A letter, he can only hope finds the one person who might understand this thing he is going through.

I have no shame in telling you, I didn't realize it until I heard the wet plop. I had actually teared up while reading a comic book. Without knowing it, I had absolutely fallen in in love with the medium, all over again.