Somebody call The FBI 'cause this little b*tch has been commiting hate crimes for over sixty-five years.

Arrest his ass for blocking the rooster.

For wanting everyone around him to be as ho-po' as his punk ass.

For treating a true player like a redheaded stepchild.

For trying to steal a true pimp's stable.

For hating on a man who for 65 years has kept two fine young ladies plush in his garden of pimply delights.

Ladies and gentlemen, I give to you The High Priest of Hatin', that Kaiser of The C*ckblock...

Pubic Enemy Number One...

Comics' Greatest Douchebag Of All Time...

Labels: Douchebaggery

Help shoot Hulk into space, don't consider consequences: CHECK!

Help usher in laws violating others civil liberties: CHECK!

Hunt down former allies who disagree with said laws: CHECK!

Imprison former friends if they disagree with said laws: CHECK!

Become head of espionage group to make it just that much easier: CHECK!

Create clone of a Nordic god and set it against your former allies: CHECK!

After Norse clone kills a two-story tall Black man, assign someone to dig a hole for said man, have him wrapped in a tarp, buried in chains in front of his whole family: CHECK!

Arrest best friend, Captain America, march him like a dog, handcuffed in front of a mob and not allow for his being possibly killed: CHECK!

Do so while completely sober: CHECK!

Kind of impressive when you see it all in one place, don't you think?

Congratulations, Tony... without even hardly trying, you became a better villain than I ever could hope be.

Hell.

All I've done lately is try and get elected mayor of Sub Diego.

Labels: Douchebaggery

I've put more children in danger by dangling than this guy...

Labels: Douchebaggery

What is it with these people?

It's always about them.

White guys who keep those below, below the glass ceiling.

You know who I'm talking about.

Those two Atlantean kings who hate on men with big penises and doctorates and sh*t.

As much as I hate Aquaman, Namor, The Sub-Mariner just might be worse.

Always getting between Reed Richards and his baby's mama.

Disgraceful. A baby needs his daddy, *sshole.

I don't think he particularly likes Blacks either.

Labels: Douchebaggery

I like this guy. For an midget, this guy goes big.

We have a lot in common.

Stupid blond guys are always getting into his sh*t.

Stupid blond guys are always getting into my sh*t.

He has a black soul.

I have a large Black Manta ship... to go along with my massive Black everythangs!

I heard he once cut his brother's girlfriend Sif's hair because she wouldn't give him any play.

Hateful.

Spiteful.

Pitiful.

I wholeheartedly approve.

If you did not know, that means I approve with my whole heart.

Loki is a "pimp," children.

Note the pimp cup.

His cup tells his story.

Labels: Douchebaggery

You heard right, dammit!

Starting Monday...

Not ONE!

Not TWO!

Dammit... this is taking too long to type.

FIVE, dammit, of comics' greatest douchebags as only the staff of "Seven Hells!" can bring it to you...

Live and direct from Washington, D.C.

Douche Central.*



*Lovely and talented Big Monkey Comics patrons excepted and that guy who sold me your bike for like a dollar. He's alright in my book.

Labels: Douchebaggery